The Fuck….he’s not dead?

HELLO! I know I know, it’s been a month, sorry but between life, work, and projects I’ve had no time :-(

Check this out though, might keep you happy for a while :-D

It’s baaaack…

E3 : Ergh Ergh… Ergh?

So E3s been and gone for another year, and what is there to make of it? Not a whole lot in truth. Nintendo announced nothing interesting, just more health products. Microsoft showed off that EyeToy of theirs which will only spark my true interest when some substantial games come out for it, they also bragged about the next Metal Gear Solid coming to 360 but seriously, dose anyone except core-fans care anymore? I mean the series went shit after game 1! What’s his face, he creator is given far too much credit for what are mediocre at best games with no originality. As for Sony they showed off what would happen if a Wiimote had sex with an EyeToy resulting in some funny hypocrisy from fan boys who up until now wouldn’t shut up about the Wii being a fad but suddenly now are going on about how the Sony “Wand” is much better than the Wiimote.

On the games front nothing truly caught my eye. Square Enix are bringing us FFXIV…which is FFXI but more next generation…boring. EA still rule the gaming world, and…ergh…you know what? It just sucked. I dunno why I thought it’d be good, E3 has been dying for years now, I’m going back to being excited about real game shows like the GDC!

Got some game reviews to type up soon, until then ta ta! <3

Ps. Oh and Sony announced the PSP Go…seriously guys, let the PSP go, the system was a bust, Nintendo owns that market cut your losses and stop making fools of your selves :-(

The Secret of Monkey Island : Special Edition

It has been a long time since I’ve played a classic game, one that ticks all the boxes of being fun, funny, tricky, long lasting, and when you’ve finished it you kinda wish it wasn’t over. The last game to truly stir up a reaction like that from me was the Jak and Daxter series. After watching the big announcements from E3’s press conferences I must admit I think I’ve got a while to wait before another game pops up that I will add to the magical list of classic titles in my heart but until then Lucas Arts has finally won a little respect back off me after way too many Star Wars games by re-making Monkey Island 1! It’ll be out on 360 soon but isn’t simply a port, it’s a total upgrade with new graphics (although if you like the old 8bit ones, just press the B button), voices (from the guy who voices Guybrush all along and many of the other cast have returned) and a new simple interface which allows for more beauty on screen. This was probably the second Adventure Game I ever played (Sam and Max Hit The Road being the first) and being young at the time and as dyslexic as I am sexy the game didn’t really have a profound effect on me with it’s lack of audio. I went back a few years later with the ability to keep up with the on screen text and found it to be hilariously funny, incredibly quirky, and all in all just down right weird and I bloody loved it.

In a day and age where most of my fellow gamers can’t remember anything pre-Halo and adventure games only being kept alive by a hand full of companies it’s nice to see one of the original titles coming back and let’s hope this pushes a remake of Monkey Island 2 :-D

Here are some examples of the before and after:

 

 

 

And if that wasn’t enough to get you squeeling how about this:

The Beatles Rock Band

This is the time of year where all core-gamers (pisses me off that these days we are defined as ‘core-gamers’ because things like the wii have caused any idiot to acquire the title of ‘gamer’ ergh) spend a few days glued to their computers but not for gaming, no, to watch sites like Kotaku and GameSpot for the latest from E3!

Due to the volume of stuff coming out of E3 this year (and my 3 days off from work) with luck I should have a lot to update with, but if your not interested in games, you might wanna give the blog a skip for a few days :-)

Anyway, lets start off with the first game shown at Microsoft's press conference. Now I’ve been playing Rock Band a lot after picking it up the other day and feel it’s far superior to Guitar Hero in numerous ways, but one thing both Guitar Hero and Rock Band do badly is band based releases (Eg. Rock Band AC/DC and Guitar Hero Aerosmith), these normally cost way too much considering they are basically no more than expansion packs which come with less songs than the basic games, and are setup to only appeal to one type of person, I made the mistake of picking up the Aerosmith Guitar Hero to find less than half the tracks of a normal GH game, a lot less stuff to unlock and buy, and all the tracks were at best boring, at worst even your great grandfather wouldn't know them cause they flopped. There is a horrible lack of variety in these games and thus I’d advise anyone to steer clear of them. That being said though they did announce the new Rock Band with the intro video, and no matter how much I watch it, I still love it, so give it a look:

E3 2009 Press Conference : Nintendo

E3 2009 Press Conference : Sony

E3 2009 Press Conference : Microsoft

Windows 7

Hello sexy people and everyone else!

Finally after much screaming, shouting, and a lot of crying I’ve fixed my Netbook, but not only fixed it, I’ve upgraded to Windows 7 which I must say has impressed me. It runs beautifully on a system that would sooner cure aids than run Windows Vista and it dose it all at top quality. Don’t get me wrong it’s not without it’s issues but their all forgivable.

Anyway, no major update right now, gotta clean my house, but soon my dears…soon

<3

Oh and get your BETA TRIAL (1 free year I’ve been told) of Windows 7 HERE :-)

 It’s Almost Here…

I Hate Hypocrites…

So today I get home from work after having a good ol’ laugh about one of the notorious liars in the office joined a group on Facebook I was told was called “I Hate Liars” only to find a few people in my own friends list had joined too! It appears after some inspection (a.k.a taking a look at the groups front page) that it’s a small group started recently which had boomed in only a few weeks to be over 200k strong. This seems hilarious to me, why? Because each and every person in that group is a liar, to make it worse by joining they are actually lying, how?

Well for starters how are they liars? Well each and every one of us lies, be it “no that doesn't make your butt look big”, or “it’s not you, it’s me”, and of course “I  can’t come into work today, my Nan’s had a stroke”. EVERY ONE on gods green earth has lied! And I don’t mean when their a child, I promise you in the past year we’ve all told a lie, even if it’s dressed up as a “little white lie” or one just to cover someone else form getting into trouble, that doesn't matter, it’s still a sodding lie!

And how are they lying by joining? Well “Hate” is a big word, it is the total opposite of love and we don’t throw love out as a meaningless term so nether should hate be used in the same way. My parents have lied to me, they told me there was such thing as Santa, do I hate them? Fuck no! What do you think I am, a bloody heartless bastard?! If you hate people for telling a lie your a sick and messed up person who appears to be unable to distinguish any shade in the scale of good and evil other than black as night and white as the average BNP member.

This group is moronic but people will continue to join it just out of guilt or a need to boost their ego a bit. I’ve been invited to this group and I shall happily decline because I have no shame in saying I am a liar as we all are, and I don’t hate fellow liars because without them the world would die.

 

END RANT

The Weekends Here!

Ah with a new bank holiday weekend here I feel refreshed and motivated to post an update. Don’t get me wrong though, that isn’t my full motivation. On the way to work this morning I saw my full motivation, and on the way home had to snap a photo of it without looking dodgy…not easy…especially when your me. So what was it? This:

What is it? Well for a moment I thought it was an advert for some kind of health food but then I realised that there’s no product placment and in fact the caption under it is a snide remark on media coverage and how people become famous in this day and age (I can’t quote it cause I can’t remember it and due to the low pixels on my camera you wont be able to read it sorry). After staring at what is actually a rather unappealing woman sprawled out on a plate in nothing but a bikini for a few seconds too long not to look like a weirdo I realised this isn’t even professional, my only guess would be it’s ether an art project, or the weirdest form of graffiti I’ve seen in a long while. Ether way I love it! This is what I’ve felt Newport needs, ART!

Our Graffiti scene is appalling with only shit tags dotted around by what seems to be only 2 taggers, I know this’ll be covered up in the next day or so but who knows, it may motivate others to start making their own statements.

If you do live in the Newport area I’d recommend checking it out, you’ll find it on Caerleon Road just after Bird Shit Bridge heading away from town, check this link for a better idea of where: LINK!

If you know of any impressive “street art” (hate the term, way too urban for me) in this area let me know! I’m sick of everything being so mundane and proper here (or the other extreme of falling down and shit)

Anyway, may update later but I’m off for chips! Ta ta!

ZOMG IT’S RUBBERDUCKZILLA!!!

Fable 2 : See The Future

There’s an old saying “Fool Me Once Shame On Me, Fool Me Twice Shame On You” but who’s the shame on when you get fooled a third time? I dunno but I’m gonna lay the blame fully on Lion Head Studio, the bastards!

I am a long time fan of Fable, but each time I get burnt, I got burnt by Fable and The Lost Chapters, I foolishly thought things would change with Fable 2 and after 3 broken copies I finally got to play the game and was let down horridly with many of the promises from Peter being untrue (Peter being the games creator, I shant refer to him by his last name cause for the life of me I can never remember it nor spell it). Anyway, feeling let down by Fable 2 when I heard Knothole Island was to unlock a whole new island and story and mini-quests I was really excited and bought it on the first day of release…big mistake. Not only was the new island unimaginative and the new story about 2 hours long, but the release of new items made characters stupidly over powered. I once again felt let down by a company I’m fast losing my love for.

So, what did I do when I heard about See The Future? I should have said to myself “Tim, now be serious, you’ve been hurt before, don’t go crawling back like some cheap whore” but what did I do? I whent crawling back like the cheapest whore you can find and then some. So, what happened? Well I found out LHS are a bunch of lieing bastards!

There were a few things promised in this expansion:

1. More Gameplay
This didn’t happen and due to less annoying puzzles than Knothole it actually lasted less time!

2. A BOSS!
The Necromancer was touted as a hard boss who would make up for the lack of a real boss all the way though Fable 2 and Knothole. This was sadly not the case, admittedly if I’d been the power I was when I finished Fable 2 I’d have struggled, but the fact is almost everyone has gone though Knothole and picked up the over powered items meaning just like me most people no doubt walked though the “boss battle” with little effort.

3. A Look At The Future Of Fable And Possibly Fable 3
This did and didn’t happen. I don’t wanna give this away because some of you even after reading this will still want to play the expansion and I can’t blame you, I ignored bad reviews too but the look into the future was a horrid let down, it lasted almost no time and told us fuck all and felt hollow and chucked in as an after thought. I was hoping for maybe a genuine piece of plot developing information or something to truly look forward too.

4. More time talking to…erm…that blind lady at the tower?
This did happen, I had a nice conversation with what's her face but it didn’t give me any more insight into her motives for taking the tower which peed me off a lot!

5. Get To See A Restored Oakvale!
Yes this happens, you get to see Oakvale trapped inside a snow globe but the way it was talked about I thought it would somehow be restored in the world of Albian and I’d get to explore it properly and use the shops and buy a house there and so on (maybe even the house from Fable 1) but alas nay, you just run around it killing monsters to restore the colour (ergh, gay) then your done and leave…WTF?!

All in all this was as if not more disappointing than Knothole because at least in Knothole although it wasn’t good it lived up to what they said it just didn’t do it very well, this one feels like one big lie. But you know what? If they release another expansion I’ll buy it…I’m a fool but I’m in love :-(

Sat Here In Bettys…

So I’m sat here in Bettys Cafe on the first day of being 22 on my laptop drinking coke and watching the world go by. Something seems kinda…uplifting about today? It’s not your normal “EEE! BIRTHDAY!” kinda sensation, it’s something different, maybe it’s the realisation that short of a relationship my life is almost all worked out, or maybe it’s just cause I’m running on so little sleep, but ether way I feel good and I hope you all do too.

So, I said I’d update as soon as my net was back, my net isn’t back, infact as I type this I have no means of uploading it (no WiFi in the Market) so I’ll have to use my phone again and screw over my data limit a little more tonight when I’m home. This also means no humorous or interesting links cause I have no access to them, so I kinda have no idea what to talk about (I say “kinda”, I mean I have NO idea).

I’m currently toying with the idea of starting a new comic, my first idea was “bring back Life of Timmy”, but I run that comic into the ground towards the end, but I do like the idea of continuing the life story of the fictional version of me, I mean now he has a job with a whole new cast of characters, he has new and old friends, and a flat of his own, not to mention he still has his trusted friend Zombie!

The more I type it out the more I realise I can’t turn away from a universe I spent the best part of 4 years building, but I do want to make a change unlike any change before, not just artistic updating like previous times, I want to make this a comic more than a quickly once a week knocked out web comic, I’d want plot, I’d want jokes written by people who can actually write jokes (unlike me). Now if you are one of the few people who followed my work before this blog you may know my writer is almost always my good friend Nathan “Man Whore” McMullen, but he’s bogged down with a million projects, because of this I may focus on the style, concept art, basic plot ideas for a while, get this thing really setup and looking professional in style and quality before I push on with it’s actual creation, who knows from there I may be able to make some pennies from Lulu.com, Etsy.com or my major dream, go into print with SLC/G (Slave Labour Comics/Graphics).

Now I’m not the ideal guy to run a solo project, I always need someone to play the motivator, and I kinda lack a motivator in this project because as far as I remember all my old Life of Timmy fans have gone their own way after the future of L.o.T looked like it was distain to go nowhere, so if you think you can motivate me, or you have some ideas for the comic, future plots, or possible characters/styles post them in the comments on this update! I genuinely want to know other peoples thoughts on this :-)

Right, I’m getting unhappy looks from the staff here for sitting here with no food or drink, I better shoot.

Ta Ta <3

An Update?! SHOCKING!

So, a quick update! I’ve hooked my iPhone up to my laptop to get this out :-D I’m now officially 22, fear my old man powers!

Anyway, less than 1 week till I get REAL internet back now I hope so as soon as I do I will update with something more substantial, until then if you have some money knocking about pick this up, it’s freaking amazing: LINK!

Day 4

So the handyman just stopped by to check my leak ad joy, he may have to rip up my floor...

So out of curiosity I stuck on ricki lake this morning...good lord it's more retarded than anyone warned me about!

Not a lot else has been going on.

Back to my internetless life...wehay!

Day 2...

So day two in my house with no Internet, found out I have a minimum of 14 more days to wait :-( ergh

I got a tv licence today, first time in 8 months so it's nice but due to a broken digibox I can only get weird channels...joy

I just saw a tv add for pocky (under a uk name) bring on the whiney japanophiles :-D

Anyway, update soon!

And So It Begins

Right, I’m moving flat today so taken 10 minutes out of my mad packing to update the blog.

I wont be online for a minimum of 10 days now (although due to unforeseen retardery I might be off longer…gonna be a fun birthday…) and although I can update from my iPhone those updates will be short due to the touch screen keyboard and lack any images or links (due to lack of 3.0 damn it) so things will be a bit wordy.

Now you know your good ol’ Uncle Timmy (yes I have a nephew so I can call myself that and not be a paedophile), he wont leave you with nothing but a good bye so I quickly whipped together a few things to keep you busy:

After I posted the video for the series of NewsWipe the other day I watched it all though and fell in love with it, so I found another creation of Brooker, ScreenWipe, the original show NewsWipe spun off from. It’s just as funny if not more so if your not a fan of the news, the only draw back this time is due to the rules of YouTube the saint who posted the series had to edit one episode due to nudity, I’m not complaining about the lack of nudity (although…) but instead of the rude bits we are greeted with black screens which happens a lot though the one episode which covers Dawn Gets Naked and Gock Wong or whatever that fannies name is show about women wearing almost nothing and sometimes nothing. Anyway, I really strongly recommend you check this out, if you’ve enjoyed the grumpy sometimes pissy for the sake of it persona I used durin some rants and game reviews you will enjoy this show:

[DUE TO YOUTUBE FIDDLING I CAN NOT EMBEDD THIS SHOW :-( CHECK IT OUT HERE THOUGH]

Admittedly that’s all I can give you right now I really need to get back to packing, if I can I’ll update later but don’t hold your breath (because it’s childish).

See You All In 10 Days!

Newswipe

It’s Brass Eye but in a real world….<3

Something Interesting…

I’d like to make clear I am NOT one of these Green people. I do nothing to keep my energy use down even though I should and before you condemn me…well…sod off? I know I should…or should I? I bumped into this on YouTube, quite interesting and pretty much highlights the fact lowering our energy usage is practically useless and the only real option is to invest in new energy sources like nuclear…anyway, enjoy:

I must say I like how they’ve simplified the situation to a system we can all grasp but without dumbing down the issue and or making it big and scary. Good on them.