My Heads Broken

The Fuck….he’s not dead?

2009-07-11T14:55:00.001-07:00

HELLO! I know I know, it’s been a month, sorry but between life, work, and projects I’ve had no time :-(

Check this out though, might keep you happy for a while :-D

It’s baaaack…

E3 : Ergh Ergh… Ergh?

2009-06-09T16:44:00.001-07:00

So E3s been and gone for another year, and what is there to make of it? Not a whole lot in truth. Nintendo announced nothing interesting, just more health products. Microsoft showed off that EyeToy of theirs which will only spark my true interest when some substantial games come out for it, they also bragged about the next Metal Gear Solid coming to 360 but seriously, dose anyone except core-fans care anymore? I mean the series went shit after game 1! What’s his face, he creator is given far too much credit for what are mediocre at best games with no originality. As for Sony they showed off what would happen if a Wiimote had sex with an EyeToy resulting in some funny hypocrisy from fan boys who up until now wouldn’t shut up about the Wii being a fad but suddenly now are going on about how the Sony “Wand” is much better than the Wiimote.

On the games front nothing truly caught my eye. Square Enix are bringing us FFXIV…which is FFXI but more next generation…boring. EA still rule the gaming world, and…ergh…you know what? It just sucked. I dunno why I thought it’d be good, E3 has been dying for years now, I’m going back to being excited about real game shows like the GDC!

Got some game reviews to type up soon, until then ta ta! <3

Ps. Oh and Sony announced the PSP Go…seriously guys, let the PSP go, the system was a bust, Nintendo owns that market cut your losses and stop making fools of your selves :-(

The Secret of Monkey Island : Special Edition

2009-06-03T06:19:00.001-07:00

It has been a long time since I’ve played a classic game, one that ticks all the boxes of being fun, funny, tricky, long lasting, and when you’ve finished it you kinda wish it wasn’t over. The last game to truly stir up a reaction like that from me was the Jak and Daxter series. After watching the big announcements from E3’s press conferences I must admit I think I’ve got a while to wait before another game pops up that I will add to the magical list of classic titles in my heart but until then Lucas Arts has finally won a little respect back off me after way too many Star Wars games by re-making Monkey Island 1! It’ll be out on 360 soon but isn’t simply a port, it’s a total upgrade with new graphics (although if you like the old 8bit ones, just press the B button), voices (from the guy who voices Guybrush all along and many of the other cast have returned) and a new simple interface which allows for more beauty on screen. This was probably the second Adventure Game I ever played (Sam and Max Hit The Road being the first) and being young at the time and as dyslexic as I am sexy the game didn’t really have a profound effect on me with it’s lack of audio. I went back a few years later with the ability to keep up with the on screen text and found it to be hilariously funny, incredibly quirky, and all in all just down right weird and I bloody loved it.

In a day and age where most of my fellow gamers can’t remember anything pre-Halo and adventure games only being kept alive by a hand full of companies it’s nice to see one of the original titles coming back and let’s hope this pushes a remake of Monkey Island 2 :-D

Here are some examples of the before and after:

And if that wasn’t enough to get you squeeling how about this:

The Beatles Rock Band

2009-06-03T05:57:00.001-07:00

This is the time of year where all core-gamers (pisses me off that these days we are defined as ‘core-gamers’ because things like the wii have caused any idiot to acquire the title of ‘gamer’ ergh) spend a few days glued to their computers but not for gaming, no, to watch sites like Kotaku and GameSpot for the latest from E3!

Due to the volume of stuff coming out of E3 this year (and my 3 days off from work) with luck I should have a lot to update with, but if your not interested in games, you might wanna give the blog a skip for a few days :-)

Anyway, lets start off with the first game shown at Microsoft's press conference. Now I’ve been playing Rock Band a lot after picking it up the other day and feel it’s far superior to Guitar Hero in numerous ways, but one thing both Guitar Hero and Rock Band do badly is band based releases (Eg. Rock Band AC/DC and Guitar Hero Aerosmith), these normally cost way too much considering they are basically no more than expansion packs which come with less songs than the basic games, and are setup to only appeal to one type of person, I made the mistake of picking up the Aerosmith Guitar Hero to find less than half the tracks of a normal GH game, a lot less stuff to unlock and buy, and all the tracks were at best boring, at worst even your great grandfather wouldn't know them cause they flopped. There is a horrible lack of variety in these games and thus I’d advise anyone to steer clear of them. That being said though they did announce the new Rock Band with the intro video, and no matter how much I watch it, I still love it, so give it a look:

E3 2009 Press Conference : Nintendo

2009-06-03T03:12:00.001-07:00

E3 2009 Press Conference : Sony

2009-06-03T03:11:00.001-07:00

E3 2009 Press Conference : Microsoft

2009-06-02T17:13:00.001-07:00

Windows 7

2009-05-28T03:16:00.001-07:00

Hello sexy people and everyone else!

Finally after much screaming, shouting, and a lot of crying I’ve fixed my Netbook, but not only fixed it, I’ve upgraded to Windows 7 which I must say has impressed me. It runs beautifully on a system that would sooner cure aids than run Windows Vista and it dose it all at top quality. Don’t get me wrong it’s not without it’s issues but their all forgivable.

Anyway, no major update right now, gotta clean my house, but soon my dears…soon

Oh and get your BETA TRIAL (1 free year I’ve been told) of Windows 7 HERE :-)

2009-05-26T12:11:00.001-07:00

It’s Almost Here…

I Hate Hypocrites…

2009-05-26T10:34:00.001-07:00

So today I get home from work after having a good ol’ laugh about one of the notorious liars in the office joined a group on Facebook I was told was called “I Hate Liars” only to find a few people in my own friends list had joined too! It appears after some inspection (a.k.a taking a look at the groups front page) that it’s a small group started recently which had boomed in only a few weeks to be over 200k strong. This seems hilarious to me, why? Because each and every person in that group is a liar, to make it worse by joining they are actually lying, how?

Well for starters how are they liars? Well each and every one of us lies, be it “no that doesn't make your butt look big”, or “it’s not you, it’s me”, and of course “I can’t come into work today, my Nan’s had a stroke”. EVERY ONE on gods green earth has lied! And I don’t mean when their a child, I promise you in the past year we’ve all told a lie, even if it’s dressed up as a “little white lie” or one just to cover someone else form getting into trouble, that doesn't matter, it’s still a sodding lie!

And how are they lying by joining? Well “Hate” is a big word, it is the total opposite of love and we don’t throw love out as a meaningless term so nether should hate be used in the same way. My parents have lied to me, they told me there was such thing as Santa, do I hate them? Fuck no! What do you think I am, a bloody heartless bastard?! If you hate people for telling a lie your a sick and messed up person who appears to be unable to distinguish any shade in the scale of good and evil other than black as night and white as the average BNP member.

This group is moronic but people will continue to join it just out of guilt or a need to boost their ego a bit. I’ve been invited to this group and I shall happily decline because I have no shame in saying I am a liar as we all are, and I don’t hate fellow liars because without them the world would die.

END RANT

The Weekends Here!

2009-05-22T11:53:00.001-07:00

Ah with a new bank holiday weekend here I feel refreshed and motivated to post an update. Don’t get me wrong though, that isn’t my full motivation. On the way to work this morning I saw my full motivation, and on the way home had to snap a photo of it without looking dodgy…not easy…especially when your me. So what was it? This:

What is it? Well for a moment I thought it was an advert for some kind of health food but then I realised that there’s no product placment and in fact the caption under it is a snide remark on media coverage and how people become famous in this day and age (I can’t quote it cause I can’t remember it and due to the low pixels on my camera you wont be able to read it sorry). After staring at what is actually a rather unappealing woman sprawled out on a plate in nothing but a bikini for a few seconds too long not to look like a weirdo I realised this isn’t even professional, my only guess would be it’s ether an art project, or the weirdest form of graffiti I’ve seen in a long while. Ether way I love it! This is what I’ve felt Newport needs, ART!

Our Graffiti scene is appalling with only shit tags dotted around by what seems to be only 2 taggers, I know this’ll be covered up in the next day or so but who knows, it may motivate others to start making their own statements.

If you do live in the Newport area I’d recommend checking it out, you’ll find it on Caerleon Road just after Bird Shit Bridge heading away from town, check this link for a better idea of where: LINK!

If you know of any impressive “street art” (hate the term, way too urban for me) in this area let me know! I’m sick of everything being so mundane and proper here (or the other extreme of falling down and shit)

Anyway, may update later but I’m off for chips! Ta ta!

ZOMG IT’S RUBBERDUCKZILLA!!!

2009-05-18T14:46:00.001-07:00

Fable 2 : See The Future

2009-05-18T12:41:00.001-07:00

There’s an old saying “Fool Me Once Shame On Me, Fool Me Twice Shame On You” but who’s the shame on when you get fooled a third time? I dunno but I’m gonna lay the blame fully on Lion Head Studio, the bastards!

I am a long time fan of Fable, but each time I get burnt, I got burnt by Fable and The Lost Chapters, I foolishly thought things would change with Fable 2 and after 3 broken copies I finally got to play the game and was let down horridly with many of the promises from Peter being untrue (Peter being the games creator, I shant refer to him by his last name cause for the life of me I can never remember it nor spell it). Anyway, feeling let down by Fable 2 when I heard Knothole Island was to unlock a whole new island and story and mini-quests I was really excited and bought it on the first day of release…big mistake. Not only was the new island unimaginative and the new story about 2 hours long, but the release of new items made characters stupidly over powered. I once again felt let down by a company I’m fast losing my love for.

So, what did I do when I heard about See The Future? I should have said to myself “Tim, now be serious, you’ve been hurt before, don’t go crawling back like some cheap whore” but what did I do? I whent crawling back like the cheapest whore you can find and then some. So, what happened? Well I found out LHS are a bunch of lieing bastards!

There were a few things promised in this expansion:

1. More Gameplay
This didn’t happen and due to less annoying puzzles than Knothole it actually lasted less time!

2. A BOSS!
The Necromancer was touted as a hard boss who would make up for the lack of a real boss all the way though Fable 2 and Knothole. This was sadly not the case, admittedly if I’d been the power I was when I finished Fable 2 I’d have struggled, but the fact is almost everyone has gone though Knothole and picked up the over powered items meaning just like me most people no doubt walked though the “boss battle” with little effort.

3. A Look At The Future Of Fable And Possibly Fable 3
This did and didn’t happen. I don’t wanna give this away because some of you even after reading this will still want to play the expansion and I can’t blame you, I ignored bad reviews too but the look into the future was a horrid let down, it lasted almost no time and told us fuck all and felt hollow and chucked in as an after thought. I was hoping for maybe a genuine piece of plot developing information or something to truly look forward too.

4. More time talking to…erm…that blind lady at the tower?
This did happen, I had a nice conversation with what's her face but it didn’t give me any more insight into her motives for taking the tower which peed me off a lot!

5. Get To See A Restored Oakvale!
Yes this happens, you get to see Oakvale trapped inside a snow globe but the way it was talked about I thought it would somehow be restored in the world of Albian and I’d get to explore it properly and use the shops and buy a house there and so on (maybe even the house from Fable 1) but alas nay, you just run around it killing monsters to restore the colour (ergh, gay) then your done and leave…WTF?!

All in all this was as if not more disappointing than Knothole because at least in Knothole although it wasn’t good it lived up to what they said it just didn’t do it very well, this one feels like one big lie. But you know what? If they release another expansion I’ll buy it…I’m a fool but I’m in love :-(

Sat Here In Bettys…

2009-05-11T07:00:00.001-07:00

So I’m sat here in Bettys Cafe on the first day of being 22 on my laptop drinking coke and watching the world go by. Something seems kinda…uplifting about today? It’s not your normal “EEE! BIRTHDAY!” kinda sensation, it’s something different, maybe it’s the realisation that short of a relationship my life is almost all worked out, or maybe it’s just cause I’m running on so little sleep, but ether way I feel good and I hope you all do too.

So, I said I’d update as soon as my net was back, my net isn’t back, infact as I type this I have no means of uploading it (no WiFi in the Market) so I’ll have to use my phone again and screw over my data limit a little more tonight when I’m home. This also means no humorous or interesting links cause I have no access to them, so I kinda have no idea what to talk about (I say “kinda”, I mean I have NO idea).

I’m currently toying with the idea of starting a new comic, my first idea was “bring back Life of Timmy”, but I run that comic into the ground towards the end, but I do like the idea of continuing the life story of the fictional version of me, I mean now he has a job with a whole new cast of characters, he has new and old friends, and a flat of his own, not to mention he still has his trusted friend Zombie!

The more I type it out the more I realise I can’t turn away from a universe I spent the best part of 4 years building, but I do want to make a change unlike any change before, not just artistic updating like previous times, I want to make this a comic more than a quickly once a week knocked out web comic, I’d want plot, I’d want jokes written by people who can actually write jokes (unlike me). Now if you are one of the few people who followed my work before this blog you may know my writer is almost always my good friend Nathan “Man Whore” McMullen, but he’s bogged down with a million projects, because of this I may focus on the style, concept art, basic plot ideas for a while, get this thing really setup and looking professional in style and quality before I push on with it’s actual creation, who knows from there I may be able to make some pennies from Lulu.com, Etsy.com or my major dream, go into print with SLC/G (Slave Labour Comics/Graphics).

Now I’m not the ideal guy to run a solo project, I always need someone to play the motivator, and I kinda lack a motivator in this project because as far as I remember all my old Life of Timmy fans have gone their own way after the future of L.o.T looked like it was distain to go nowhere, so if you think you can motivate me, or you have some ideas for the comic, future plots, or possible characters/styles post them in the comments on this update! I genuinely want to know other peoples thoughts on this :-)

Right, I’m getting unhappy looks from the staff here for sitting here with no food or drink, I better shoot.

Ta Ta <3

An Update?! SHOCKING!

2009-05-10T17:13:00.001-07:00

So, a quick update! I’ve hooked my iPhone up to my laptop to get this out :-D I’m now officially 22, fear my old man powers!

Anyway, less than 1 week till I get REAL internet back now I hope so as soon as I do I will update with something more substantial, until then if you have some money knocking about pick this up, it’s freaking amazing: LINK!

Day 4

2009-05-04T02:28:00.001-07:00

So the handyman just stopped by to check my leak ad joy, he may have to rip up my floor...

So out of curiosity I stuck on ricki lake this morning...good lord it's more retarded than anyone warned me about!

Not a lot else has been going on.

Back to my internetless life...wehay!

Day 2...

2009-05-02T14:22:00.001-07:00

So day two in my house with no Internet, found out I have a minimum of 14 more days to wait :-( ergh

I got a tv licence today, first time in 8 months so it's nice but due to a broken digibox I can only get weird channels...joy

I just saw a tv add for pocky (under a uk name) bring on the whiney japanophiles :-D

Anyway, update soon!

And So It Begins

2009-04-30T04:09:00.001-07:00

Right, I’m moving flat today so taken 10 minutes out of my mad packing to update the blog.

I wont be online for a minimum of 10 days now (although due to unforeseen retardery I might be off longer…gonna be a fun birthday…) and although I can update from my iPhone those updates will be short due to the touch screen keyboard and lack any images or links (due to lack of 3.0 damn it) so things will be a bit wordy.

Now you know your good ol’ Uncle Timmy (yes I have a nephew so I can call myself that and not be a paedophile), he wont leave you with nothing but a good bye so I quickly whipped together a few things to keep you busy:

After I posted the video for the series of NewsWipe the other day I watched it all though and fell in love with it, so I found another creation of Brooker, ScreenWipe, the original show NewsWipe spun off from. It’s just as funny if not more so if your not a fan of the news, the only draw back this time is due to the rules of YouTube the saint who posted the series had to edit one episode due to nudity, I’m not complaining about the lack of nudity (although…) but instead of the rude bits we are greeted with black screens which happens a lot though the one episode which covers Dawn Gets Naked and Gock Wong or whatever that fannies name is show about women wearing almost nothing and sometimes nothing. Anyway, I really strongly recommend you check this out, if you’ve enjoyed the grumpy sometimes pissy for the sake of it persona I used durin some rants and game reviews you will enjoy this show:

[DUE TO YOUTUBE FIDDLING I CAN NOT EMBEDD THIS SHOW :-( CHECK IT OUT HERE THOUGH]

Admittedly that’s all I can give you right now I really need to get back to packing, if I can I’ll update later but don’t hold your breath (because it’s childish).

See You All In 10 Days!

Newswipe

2009-04-28T12:51:00.001-07:00

It’s Brass Eye but in a real world….<3

Something Interesting…

2009-04-25T15:52:00.001-07:00

I’d like to make clear I am NOT one of these Green people. I do nothing to keep my energy use down even though I should and before you condemn me…well…sod off? I know I should…or should I? I bumped into this on YouTube, quite interesting and pretty much highlights the fact lowering our energy usage is practically useless and the only real option is to invest in new energy sources like nuclear…anyway, enjoy:

I must say I like how they’ve simplified the situation to a system we can all grasp but without dumbing down the issue and or making it big and scary. Good on them.

500 Poly Gallery

2009-04-21T12:51:00.001-07:00

I love 3D Models, I don’t know why, I can’t make them to save my life, but I love other peoples creations, but not those uber high quality Pixar style ones, I like the low poly stuff, the kind you’d see on a PS1, when the low polys pushed creators to be creative. Anyway, the guys at Polycount are running a thread on their forum dedicated to 500 Max Poly Models. It’s a looooong thread and it’s still running and some of the creations on there rage from shockingly bad, to surprisingly amazing :-D

Anyway, if your into this kinda stuff too check it out HERE

Crash : Mind over Mutant

2009-04-19T09:47:00.001-07:00

So, yesterday I picked up Crash : Mind Over Mutant. Now you may wonder why I picked this up, in truth I’m not too sure, I mean we all know what happened to the series once they started doing games like Crash Bash, and I’ve been burnt before by horrid ‘Flogging A Dead Horse’ Crash Bandicoot games but still I picked it up and bought it…with a “your way too old for this kinda shit” look from the guy in Game.

So, what did I think of it? Let’s break it down into simple chunks…

1. Graphics
Crash Bandicoot hasn’t been doing too good in looks since he left the PSone which was a shame as he truly pushed the little gray console by the time Warped came out. His last few outings have been at best visually dull and at worst very ugly, but all of that has changed in Mind Over Mutant. The whole Crash Universe has been given a new lick of paint and a visual make-over. It’s hard to explain but remember when Crash looked like this?

Well, now he looks like this:

Jesus Christ on a stick! Not only has the graphics been boosted but as you’ve no doubt noticed the world now looks more cartoony and Crash himself is almost a totally new character, it works amazingly to give the whole thing a fresh feel it desperately needed!

2. Game Play:
Graphics are not the only things to get a make-over, the game plays totally different from previous games. No longer is it all about collecting gems, using warp rooms, and smashing all the boxes, now it’s more mission based and in simple much more about getting from A to B which sounds dull but is done really well. The controls have been given a touch-up or two as well with Crash using swipes more than his spin attack which now lasts longer than previous games but will result in a dizzy Crash. The other major new mechanic (I say new but before people complain, I know it was in Crash of the Titans, but I feel Crash was still finding himself in that title, in this one the games finally started totally afresh and done it well) is Crash’s ability to control huge mutants with different powers to solve puzzles and get though the game a little easier. A level up system has been implemented into the game too with each mutant having 5 upgrades and Crash having 35. All these new little bits and bobs work together well to give Crash what he needed to move onto a new generation.

3. Audio
I struggle to comment on audio because as long as it dosen’t piss me off (which it didn’t) I never have any issues with it, so I’ll just say it did it’s job :-D

4. Story
The story, well I wont tell you what it is, but what I will say is it’s told in a weird way. Each cut-scene is a cartoon but each one done in a different style including 1960s horror, 1980s kung-foo, and even one where all the characters were played by sock puppets. It’s very weird but dose a good job of motivating you to push on to see the next one just to see what they do next.

5. All In All
This game has put a smile on my face, it has Crash in it, but in no way is it the old Crash Bandicoot we all remember, but that’s not a bad thing, the old Crash was…well…old! The gameplay was dull, where as this one is fun, the visuals were out dated where as this one is beautiful, even the plot actually has some plot to it unlike most Crash games. It’s humour is aimed at all ages and kids who’ve never played a Crash game before will love this as much as adults who still remember Crash Bandicoot on their PSone.

Sadly this may be the last good game from Crash as it was published by now long gone Sierra and I’m not sure who has their grubby little mits on the series now. But I’d recommend giving this game a go, it’s restored my faith in Platformer games as much as Mario 64 and Jak and Daxter did before it.

TRAILER:

Zelda Goodness <3

2009-04-19T09:10:00.001-07:00

So, yesterday I FINALLY picked up an old NES to play my Gold Cart Legend of Zelda on it, ooooo it was retro sexiness and I loved it. Now I just need to fork out £20 to get Zelda II (and then debate weather or not to frame the carts and just use emulators to play the games because it’s always been my dream to own Golden Cart versions of the old Zeldas, just need LttP, OOT and MM now!

Good Luck

2009-04-17T10:37:00.001-07:00

So, The Pirate Bay’s creators have been fined about £3,000,000 and face a year in jail for their running of a 100% legal website… kinda fucked if you ask me. This dose seem quite political and very messed up but TPB have said they will appeal against this judgment and even if they lose that will never pay the companies the money and I say good on them. Although this is a bit of a blow for the internet piracy world it’s nothing crippling, it’s no more than Napster or Kazaa’s past and if anything events like this have proven to only make the piracy world stronger as more and more people grow to dislike the faceless corporations playing the bad guy in this show of life. If they were smart they’d work with the pirates, find a way to co-exist, seem like the good guys, gain the respect of web dwellers and who knows maybe we’d actually buy their stuff without cursing the fact we get fucked over in the wallet for all their greed.

But anyway, I’m not gonna use this as a soap box to stand on and shout, best of luck to the guys from TPB in their appeal, I hope it works in their favour, the judgment was outstandingly harsh and unfair.

StarCraft II Battle Report

2009-04-17T10:19:00.001-07:00

I mentioned before I’m trying to get back into my RTS, there’s a reason for this, StarCraft II. The first StarCraft was love at first sight for me and I loved the game so much I played it from start to finish on a make-shift PC with no sound card and a flickering screen just cause I wanted to finish it so bad. The game hasn’t survived the tests of time though with a set screen resolution which could run on a GBA and music which most people would hate today, but the story is still good and still open for the second game which I’m dying to play, but I don’t wanna be shit at. Because of this I’m back into my RTS but also I’ve begun to watch the Battle Reports. It’s quite interesting picking up tips from good gamers by watching them, the commentators do a good job of sticking to facts, information about the game, and general compliments on the players tactics instead of resorting to WWE style macho bullshit, so if your interested in the new StarCraft why not sit back and enjoy 20 minutes of in game footage (still no Protos though sadly)

FULL SCREEN IS A MUST!

2009-04-16T15:37:00.001-07:00

Timbo_Stock
Check out my new Twitter just for my doodles.

The Good, The Bad, and the Fugly

2009-04-16T10:53:00.001-07:00

So, today's been pretty uneventful so I thought I’d do a little G.B.F to keep this place flowing and keep me busy while my food cooks…need…food :-(

The Good : I’ve discovered the wonders of photographing my doodles with my iPhone, uploading them to twitter (weirdly it’s quicker to photo upload from my phone than from my laptop) then I can pull them from the net, run them though flash and wehay, my updates should more often have Timbo original artwork from now on :-D I’m working on setting up a Stock Twitter account, you guys will be more than welcome to subscribe to it if you wanna see my doodles but it’s more for me than anything.

The Bad : Clement Freud, an amazing and funny man who I know mostly for his work on Just a Minute but is famous for so much more passed away today. He lived a long life and a full one so good on him, but it’s a shame to see him go. R.I.P

The Fugly : Ninja Blade.
I tried this games demo out on the 360 the other day and couldn’t even make it to the end. Yes it was pretty. Sure it had big weapons and even bigger monsters. And awesome it has quick time events…wait…what? Yup another game that uses quick time events, but I’m not talking bits and bobs to allow you to pull of wicked awesome moves or something, this game uses them as a key gameplay feature, it was even on the back of the chuffing box! The gameplay in-between the horrid quick time badness is boring and dull and ergh…I hate this game with such a passion I couldn’t even dedicate an article to it…Don’t Buy It!

Some Rambles Of A Timbo

2009-04-15T14:53:00.001-07:00

No the picture has nothing to do with the post it’s self, I just bumped into this (sadly can’t remember where now, if you know, link me so I can credit) on the net and fell in love with it after getting sick of seeing those stupid posters everywhere.

Anyway, didn’t really have an update for today but I thought after a bit of a style update it seemed wrong to say nothing beyond a few lines of text so instead I thought I’d update with some news on my everyday life. I know most of you don’t care but it saves me telling multiple friends and family the same thing…yes I’m lazy and anti-social.

So, what’s been up?

Well I’ve found a beautiful flat down the road from my current house I’m gonna be (with luck) moving into for the end of the month (can’t wait), it dose mean 10 days without internet so if anyone wants to do anything I’ll probably be up for anything for 10 long boring days (even if you wanna just hang out at my shiny new place and play Hero Quest!…someone play Hero Quest with me? Please?). It all sounds good and happy but this move is gonna financially cripple me for potentially months so I’m part hyped up, part dreading it.

In other news I’ve now been in my job for over 3 months making this the longest period of time I’ve spent in one job if you don’t include relationships…but those are more chores than jobs (I’m NOT bitter…<_< *ahem*). I’m hoping for a permanent contract before the years up (cause if I don’t get one I’m screwed) and then I can sink into 40 years of DWP work before I can retire…when put like that it’s kinda depressing…but it pays for the new flat! :-D

I’ve been making more effort to get back into my old RTS games recently starting with Age of Mythology but with intentions to work my way though all the C&C as well as the Warcraft III games. If anyone also owns a copy of one of these games why not bug me for some online play? I like to be social, I’m just not good at it (and worse at the games so it’s an easy win for you)

With my new flat, and my job, it feels like life is kinda…I dunno, coming together? I’ve spent a long time drifting between jobs and unemployment with nothing to give structure to my life so it’s kinda nice, it, and my diminishing health have made me realise I need to sort myself out, eat better, exercise more, and more importantly, say yes more. I know that sounds like I’m just listening to the Yes Man Audiobook again (seriously, best way to experience an amazing story) but I’m sick of spending my evenings indoors doing the same thing, sick of my social circle spanning about 5 people of which 2 I live with, and kinda realise I’m only young once, don’t waste it on nothing (at the same time I’m of the view you shouldn’t waste it getting so drunk you forget everything, that’s just retarded, so saying yes more is gonna have a limit for me :-P). So, why not try dragging me out sometime, I might be up for it where I wasn’t before :-D

What else is new…hmmmm…I may be using this 10 days with no internet to focus on some concepts and doodles for my next comic, but don’t get your hopes up, that’s if my time isn’t taken up between work and moving into my new place.

I guess that’s it really. Bit of a dull update I know sorry, but could be worse, I could have gone silent for weeks like last time!

I’ll try to update a few times with more meaty stuff before I move to keep you going while my nets down. Update Soon <3

2009-04-15T12:08:00.001-07:00

So a quick update just to say; Wehay, like the new look at the top of the blog? Smexy huh?

Anyway, on with your lives…

Interweb TV

2009-04-12T07:25:00.001-07:00

So, if your keeping up to date with my blog you probably saw my little rant last night about the ITV Player, I said in the blog that I was yet to try the 4oD streaming TV from Channel 4. So after I’d posted that blog I thought I’d give it a go, in truth I was kinda suppressed. I mean Channel 4 are known for their tackiness, it’s what they do but this site was well designed, easy to get around, loaded pretty quick, and wasn’t so full of adverts you wanted to kill a cute puppy. I wont lie there were some issues, I had problems with the buffering on some videos being a bit buggered but pausing the video for a few minutes at the start fixed that, also the image quality wasn’t perfect on some of the videos, but Channel 4 hasn’t long been running the Web version of their 4oD service, before it was a download system, so their kinda new to this so I can forgive them (this shows most in full screen graphical issues with videos). So, so far my online TV Line Up looks like this:

(keep in mind I am UK based so we don’t get awesome places like the South Park Studio yet)

1. iPlayer (BBC)
2. 4oD (Channel 4)
3. Family Guy Online (Family Guy)
4. American Dad HQ (American Dad)
5. All SP (South Park)

I’d like to say sites like Hulu but alas I’m still waiting for the British government to stop being pricks and get it sorted so we can watch these sites!

Super Size Me

2009-04-11T17:40:00.001-07:00

Just found this hosted (as far as I can see, legally) on YouTube, it’s a little old now but if your like me, you never got around to watching it…enjoy:

ill TV

2009-04-11T16:51:00.001-07:00

As anyone knows, the first thing to do when ill is break out the TV and watch mindless crap, it keeps us all going though the bleh times.

Alas I lack a TV Licence so I thought ‘fuck it, time for a bit of internet TV!’ (I’ve checked the laws on this, I’m allowed to watch things like the iPlayer without a licence as long as I don’t watch live stuff…I don’t get it…but yeah). So, after watching some BBC for a while I thought it was time for a new site, now I haven’t really tried 4oD yet and everything on Sky’s streaming site seems to be pay to view (no shock from the bastard that is Murdock) so seeing as no downloads or money was needed I gave ITV’s “ITV Player” a try. My opinion? Well…

The website is horridly designed with almost no kind of timeline system running to show what shows are coming soon or what shows have just played. The top promoted shows on the site seem to span their soaps and a few less than high quality programs. And in general their ‘white with black bits’ theme hit back at BBC iPlayer’s ‘black with white bits’ theme is ugly and feels badly designed (apparently no one told their designers about negative space in art class).

Now onto the shows. Now ITV has never been known for the best show reel, I mean they have been humping the corps of I’m A Celeb for years now but until you see them listed like they are on the site you don’t realise just how bad their selection is. I mean considering these guys run 5 channels (ITV 1 to 4 and the CITV Channel) there isn’t enough content I could find to fill one channel with a weeks worth of programs. There is also a total lack of a news show which annoys me as I quite like the ITV News (and have had to resort to watching it on my iPhone instead). The quality of the shows is also horrid with one show I just watched, Celebrity Juice, feeling like it was from a late night Channel 4 production ment to just fill time between the late night porno and the early morning kids shows, I’d have more fun looking at telly text screens.

Finally there is the issue of advertising. Now I know ITV makes its money from this, I know on TV you’d get TV adverts, and I can accept them being in the web versions too, but they can’t seem to find the buyers for the view time meaning I was shown the same Orange advert every break and a few times 2 times a break (and when your watching something that’s 2 hours long that’s 8 times you see the Advert with no means of skipping it). Also unlike the TV counterparts these adverts are badly chopped into the shows causing really inappropriate stopping points in plots or action. I know people may say ‘ah but that’s the price of viewing without a licence’ but as much as I could accept that for the BBC who make almost all their funding off the licence payer (and the rest off phone scams) ITV make their cash from their adverts not seeing a penny of the licence money. Also I wouldn’t complain about these adverts, or their badly cut in positions, or the repetition of them, if it wasn’t for the fact the video quality is vastly below a YouTube HQ standard (where I’m not bombarded with unskippable adverts), the web design is horrid and bad to navigate for me, let alone someone who’s not computer literate, and the production quality of the shows seems to have slipped since way back when.

I guess it should have been expected from a company who think the best way to entertain people on the weekend is to OD them on Ant and Dec, all I can say is unless they have a show you REALLY wanna watch on there, stick with the iPlayer, or give 4oD a try, but ITV Player really isn’t worth the hassle.

To Catch A Predator

2009-04-11T03:58:00.001-07:00

I think almost everyone knows about the show To Catch A Predator by now, it’s never made it across the seas to the UK but between YouTube and shows like South Park spoofing it, it’s a well known show. Admittedly it' has an element of scare spin to it making it feel like the whole internet is made up of paedophiles or something, but if you can over look the media spin there is nothing quite as beautiful as watching a Pedo get owned, and by Chris Hansen of all people.

There are a LOT of videos on the net so picking one to put on here to show off the program wasn’t easy but in the end I settled for this one for two reasons. 1. It is beyond me that someone could be this stupid and 2. This is the first time in one of these videos I’ve seen Chris seem actually quite pissed off…which is kinda awesome.

Anyway, enjoy:

Part 1

Part 2

Oh My God, I’m Not Dead!

2009-04-10T14:17:00.001-07:00

Hello! So yes, I’m not actually dead, I feel pretty damn close to it but that’s just cause I’m ill *aaaaw*

Where have I been? Well I’ve been here all along but I’ve been house hunting, still trying to get used to my job, had a lot of lazing about to do, and I hit one of those points where every time I loaded up Live Writer to update this place I’d find something more important to do, even if that thing was watching reruns of Lost or getting told off by Virgin for being a little pirate…that sucked…

So, I wont lie, this probably isn’t a sign of good things to come, within the month I’m meant to be moving out which means a minimum of 10 days without internet…scary. Also my motivation still isn’t there, I’m just so horridly bored tonight with no one online and no motivation to game I thought I’d show my face on here.

Just to explain the post below this one, I originally thought that was the video for the Microsoft GDC 2009 Keynotes but apparently Gamespot thought it would be handy to put up keynotes that are a year sodding old. That’s like putting up year old news reports, everything mentioned in it has already happened! I continued to dig and found out no one seems to have the streams for the GDC Keynotes this year. Why? I don’t know, but I’m pissed off about it, that’s over 3 hours of neediness I don’t get this year!

So, what else can I rant about? I dunno, not really got much to talk about, with my new house costing so much I haven’t had the cash to get new games to moan about, I also seem to be lacking anything interesting to bitch about or sing the praises of. I guess I can knock together one or two things to keep you busy thought…

1. Dungeon Party
I’ve taken a step back from MMORPGs recently due to the fact they tend to suck ass and for some reason I can never accept they’ll stop sucking ass, but I did just stumble upon this little potential gem. Dungeon Party feels like if they took Dungeon Runners (the one MMORPG I haven’t grown to hate) and dipped it in Team Fortress 2. They don’t take themselves seriously, the game isn’t all about grinding or quests. This is all about raiding dungeons for treasure, but at the same time stopping another team doing the same. It seems like an interesting game but alas right now it’s in what seems to be a closed beta so I can’t give it the poke I wanna. But check out it’s site (if only for the humorous trailers) and bookmark it for the future!

2. FUCK YOU PeTA!

3. Unskippable
It’s been a while since I found a web show to obsess over but just like the last two (Zero Punctuation and Unforgotten Realms) Unskippable is one of the diamonds in the rough on the site The Escapist. Good show but it doesn't make up for the shit that is de-rez. Still, watch it though! It’s bloody hilarious (but if you wanna get one or two of the in-jokes, watch from the first episode to the newest one).

4. IEEEEEE! IT LOOKS SO FREAKING SMEXY!
*ahem* Gameplay footage from Bioshock 2 <3

5. Charlie The Unicorn 3
STARFISH REALLY LOVES YOU!!!…*ahem*

So yeah, some stuff to keep you going till I can pull my head of out my ass and get back to updating this place a bit more often :-)

Till then, Ta Ta! <3

ZOMG THE KEYNOTES BEGIN!

2009-03-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

I'm an avid fan of the GDC Keynotes so expect any put online to be embedded here :-D

Oh and yes I'm not dead...

Sat in bettys

2009-03-21T05:58:00.001-07:00

So I'm sat in bettys cafe in town drinking a cold fanta and watching the world go by. The sun is shining and the spell checker on my phone as you can no doubt tell isn't working very well today. So sat here in total relaxation getting odd looks from an old couple I thought "hey, why don't I update my blog" Which in theory is an awesome idea over looking one floor...I have nothing to talk about.

My money isn't looking too pretty right now with pay day a week away so can't go buying extravigant stuff to write about and how I had sushi for the first time in years yesterday (and hated it) didn't seem like enough to keep a topic going. So instead I've decided to just ramble on like this and make you read in hope of some form of content which'll never come :-D I'm a bad man. ☺

Right, time to finish my can and go for a stroll in the sun. May update soon...but probubly won't till I'm settled into my imaginary new house.

♥

Living Up To The Name…

2009-03-14T17:37:00.001-07:00

As the blog name says, my head is broken. No this isn’t some moany little thing about how I have issues no one could understand, this isn’t Live Journal.

Nah, my heads just kinda foggy this weekend. The worry about finding a house as well as bits, bobs, and thingy-ma-jigs in my life are kinda bouncing around in that wide open space I call a brain and making it hard to focus even with a bit of Sigur Ros in the background. Because of this I will not promise an update this weekend because I’m sure you’ll only be let down. What I will do though is keep an eye out for a few images, videos, and other bits I can quickly stick on here to keep the place from gathering too much dust :-)

Hope this holds you guys over till my life’s settled back into place and I’m more focused (right now I can’t even game my heads so foggy making it hard to even write about games)

If you want to follow me like a stalker though subscribe to my twitter feed :-) the more the better!

About Chuffing Time!

2009-03-11T17:55:00.001-07:00

Wehay an update from me! One that’s not from a phone or done over twitter!

So, where have I been? I’d like to say all over the place busy busy busy and truly doing something, I could actually say that but you know…I’d be lying.

So, what’s been going on? Well recently I discovered a few things, for starters an iPhone can be very VERY distracting (seriously, I’ve wasted god knows how much money on new apps for the sexy little devil. Bored? why not drop me an e-mail on my phone? Things like that keep me going in work). Secondly I’ve been kinda…I’m not sure, zapped of motivation? In truth I fear Newport and city life is effecting me, but I’ll talk about that more in a bit. Thirdly I recently found out in about 20 days I could be homeless, this has sparked a house hunt, but I wont lie and say that’s taken up all my time, it clearly couldn’t…I’d have a new place by now if the search was every waking moment between work. No, but in truth the whole things kinda knocked my mind out of line, I’m thinking more about how I’ll move my stuff, or what colour curtains I want in my new place, or who I’ll call if I find a spider now I’ll have no house mates, so in basic I’ve become homosexual. No Mam, not really.

Anyway, I genuinely hope this will change soon, I’ve got high hopes the next place I view will be good cause it can’t be any worse than the shit hole I viewed last. I’m trying to perk myself up some more too, talking to my (soon to be ex) house mate earlier about the youth of today I realised that at only 21 I’ve lost all my childish innocents, my immaturity, and almost my entire ability to have mindless silly fun without fear of how it will effect me down the line. For most people this would be a good thing, but fuck, I’m 21! Those things are for people in their late twenties at least. I can still get ID’d for a scratch card, I’m too young to be like this. So I’m trying to come up with ways to force myself to change a bit. Fingers crossed this’ll help my motivation and way of thought and I’ll be blogging a lot again soon :-)

Oh soon I will drop off the face of the earth beyond my Twitter and Facebook. Why? Internet here takes 10 days to be connected to a house, so when I move I have 10 days no internet…it…will..kill…me.

Anyway, I know this was a shoddy update with nothing interesting and more me going on about my life which I hardly care about so fuck knows why you ever would…I mean I probably wouldn’t care much for your life ether, no offence, but it’s probably boring like mine…we need to have more fun.

Coming soon...

2009-03-11T08:57:00.001-07:00

Gonna try updating tonight from my laptop, wish me luck but don't hold your breath :-P

Update

2009-03-10T08:45:00.001-07:00

Right so my brother gave me gip cause of the lack of updates so I thought I'd get an iPhone app so I can update anywhere :-D

The app uses a small keyboard though making this a total potch to write so don't expect indepth iPhone updates (but they'll be longer then their twitter counterparts).

So, what's been going on in my world? Let's see...

1. I have 22 days to move out before rent becomes too expencive to cover plus I'm sick of living in a shit hole when my job dosent pay bad. Fingers crossed I'll have a new place lines up by next week :-D

2. I now have a sexy iPhone meaning my twitter isn't dead and no longer will the blog be!

3. My days as a pirate are over as virgin sent me a scary "stop being naughty!" letter (although re accounts in my house mates name). In fairness I'm not sure what I did wrong but I'll prosume the music companies are trigger happy due to the pirate bay court case.

4. I'm currently doodling ideas for a new comic but that's all I'm saying :-P

That's it really. Oh if you was confused by the previous post, it's a qr code...google it :-P

Tata <3

2009-03-01T04:51:00.001-08:00

Mirrors Edge – Time Trial Map Pack

2009-02-21T11:10:00.001-08:00

So, last night I forked out 800 Microsoft Points on the new Time Trial Map Pack for Mirrors Edge. I’m not all for paying money for new maps for games, that always feels a bit cheap and unfair on the poor gamers out there so I tend to stick to basic maps unless their free but I must admit I loved Mirrors Edge but felt the game was too short and not very free runny (sounds unhealthy) so when I heard there would be a map pack which would take you outside the city I thought this was awesome. So yeah, I downloaded it and booted it up…my opinion?

Ehm…I’m quite let down. For a collection of maps that take you outside the ridged city and place you into a free running playground the routs though the maps are horridly linier. The challenge isn’t so much in finding new quicker ways from A to B but instead more about for starters working out the ONLY way from A to B then trying to time your jumps and turns perfect. It felt more like a race track with dust on the while lines that show where to go than a collection of expansive free running maps. It would have been nice if they gave us a little more for our money too. I mean the maps are pretty, but considering their just a collection of geometric shapes over an ocean they couldn’t have taken a whole lotta work (a statement I would not have made if there was more than 1 way though each map). Maybe if they had thrown in a 1 on 1 race game I wouldn’t have felt quite so cheated, I mean running against ghosts isn’t bad, teaches you the speedy way to follow the rout and some times they are almost vital to find out how you complete a track without dying, but I’d love to take the game online against a friend and race though a track, hitting each other off the sides as we race and so on, that would make it so fun I could forgive the bad free running aspect.

Hell if they’d thrown in a replay option where you could watch in a third person as Faith runs the map so you can see where you went wrong I’d feel a little less cheated. There is a LOT of stuff they could have done, not ground breaking stuff, not high effort stuff, hell stuff we hardly missed in the game, but there's a lot of it they could have stuck in this expansion to lessen the bitter taste it leaves in your mouth.

You may say ‘but Tim, it’s only 800 points!’ but when you consider the cost of the whole Portal game on the Arcade, that seems a lot for very little.

But remember, don’t take my word for it, try it out yourself if you have the money and let me know if you agree or not. I do like to hear other peoples opinions, it might help me see something in this expansion that justifies me spending the money I did to get it :-)

Fiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzizizizizzzz

2009-02-20T10:23:00.001-08:00

So, I kinda said in my Twitter I’d update the site tonight and kicking myself kinda cause as I hit enter I remembered I have very little to update with, I mean my brains kinda like this picture…doesn't matter how much you look at it, you wont see boobies…although my mind is kinda the other way around after a week of work, look at it all you like you’ll only see boobies. Anywho, stuff to talk about…

Oooh, I’ve begun doodles and ideas for a new chapter of Life Of TimmY, new cast, new setup, old Zombies, and even a little plot possibly. I don’t wanna talk about it too much though cause right now it’s still only ideas and it’ll be a while before you get to see it cause I’m looking for a life event to start me off, kinda missed all the big ones recently so need a new one, someone wanna give me a million pounds or challenge me to a race around the world? Sounds like a good motivator!

So, what else has been on the go? I’m still set on making everyone join Twitter so go ahead and join bitches!

I’ve finally picked up a copy of Skype again! If you fancy chatting to me on there my names tim.nice.but.dim (no joke)

Tonight I may have a FEAR2 night, if so expect lots of updates every time I pause cause I’m too scared to go on…I’m a wimp I know…but damn that games evil!

Ooo I might finally get my camera out soon and do a photo shoot! It’s been a looooong time but thanks to my friend (who till I’ve got the thumbs up that she wants to be named in her photos, will remain nameless) I should be doing more shoots soon so mybrokenhead will be getting more arty! So break out your pocky, stuffed anime toys, and put on 50 pounds and join the world in becoming art critics!

I really have little else to update with right now but I may update later with something a little different from the norm :-) don’t worry, no Timmy porn…well…not much anyway.

Tata M’Dears!

F.E.A.R 2

2009-02-14T11:32:00.001-08:00

If you’ve seen my recent tweet you know I got a copy of F.E.A.R 2, you’ll no doubt have also guessed I’M SHITTING MYSELF! O_O

The game takes fear one and times it by at least 10! In the first game you heard a sound and you knew something was gonna jump out or be though the next door…this ones less obvious. I’m currently on level one, alone, in a swimming pool area, all dark, my torch is fucking up and I turn around without any scary sounds or anything and Alma is stood there smiling evilly. I’m genuinely too scared to turn around in this game!

Fucking freaky game!

I’ll write a full review once I’ve completed it and washed out my undies.

Work + Lack of Sleep = No Updates

2009-02-11T13:53:00.001-08:00

I haven't updated in a few days now, and you may be wondering why (or more logically just not giving a crap). It’s not entirely due to a lack of content (although most of it is video game based so I’m looking for stuff to break that up a bit for the lesser nerds reading this), it’s more I just can’t be arsed or I’m too tiered to go searching for stuff to update with. Hell even finding the picture for this post involved trolling though quite a lot of she-male Wang in Google with the search term ‘office prank’…fuck knows why.

So yeah, I’m tiered, not tiered of the blog, just work is nackering me out right now and I’m not even pulling full shifts (which is gonna bite me in the ass in a weeks time). I don’t wanna write an entire post about how shit work is or something, it just doesn't seem interesting and I moan to friends enough without making the internet suffer too, so instead, I give you:

AAAAW! HOW CWOOOOT!

Detective Mittens: The Crime Solving Cat

2009-02-07T20:08:00.001-08:00

Halo Wars - Demo

2009-02-06T20:17:00.001-08:00

I must admit my days of RTS kinda died when my Windows Systems started to suck too much to run new games, I’ve played games like Warcraft, Starcraft and the early C&C games to death and thus lost interest. When EA released C&C3 on Xbox 360 I’ll admit my interest was peeked due to the fact it would run as I own a 360 (although with the CD sounds recently I’m not sure how long I’ll own one before it melts). I borrowed the game off someone and sat down with the tutorial only to find the progress slow, the controls unappealing, and the game just a total turn off, in truth it kinda marked console RTS for me, which is a shame because the early C&C’s on PS1 were amazing. Anyway, when I heard about Halo Wars being a 360 exclusive I wasn’t to fussed, didn’t appeal to me based on my experience with RTS so I looked past it and focused on other games, that was till today when I downloaded the demo.

The demo is 1.4 gigs so if your on a bad connection give up now, but for anyone else I’d recommend it! The game is visually and technically beautiful. The controls are smooth and easy, the GUI is basic, the base building, although key, isn’t a chore. The wars even with the 30 unit limit I was given still felt large and chaotic. The graphics felt like I was genuinely playing a Halo game from an RTS view too (which is something the promotions bragged about but I didn’t be leave). I tried this demo thinking I’d finally have something bad to say about Halo because you know, it’s cool to dislike popular stuff, but I fell in love with the game to the point where I’m toying with buying it when it comes out (buying new titles is a rare thing for me because of my tight fistedness when it comes to games).

The game isn’t without it’s problems though. A few things make no sense in the time line considering the game is set 20 years before Halo 1, the technology of the Humans is far better than in the games. Also Halo War’s AI is clothed, where as Cortana didn’t need clothes (I know it’s nit picking but why dose an AI computer need to dress up? It bugs me). I’m also unsure about some of the characters (a.k.a the dude you take control of in the demo felt like a bit of a dick…kinda like a dick version of what’s his face who you take control of at the start of Starcraft). All of this is forgiven though with some damn beautiful cut-scenes and of course Halo’s trade mark music.

With the last set-in-stone Halo release (with Bungie jumping ship) being an expansion pack for Halo 3, Halo Wars to me is the final chapter in the series unless something happens. If it is, I think it’s set to be a good one, and also a game Ensemble Studios can be proud of as their final title before being shut down.

If you have a 360 check it out.

Coraline

2009-02-06T16:16:00.001-08:00

I was chatting to my friend Nayfun the other day when the topic of movies came up, I listed a few well known movies, Monsters vs Aliens, Unborn, and The Watchmen when suddenly he mentioned a movie called Coraline. In truth when I first heard the name I thought gay, when I saw the site I thought ‘ooo animation…but still…looks kinda gay’, but then I watched the trailers and fell in love with what could be a totally over looked movie. I must admit I can’t tell if I’ve fallen in love with a kids or an adults movie, the basic plot seems childish, but the actual movie seems quite dark and not really for kids (unless this generation of kids is less wimpy than mine), but what’s important is it looks amazing and like something we haven’t seen I’d say since Nightmare Before Christmas (never seen it, but it’s been a long time since a movie of it’s style and theme has been out) and no surprise this ones by one of the guys behind Nightmare Before Christmas so if you liked it you will probably like this (unless you only liked it cause Burton made it in which case fuck off and never come back to my blog again he’s an over rated prick who’s an insult on the Tim’s of the world!).

Anyway, here is the trailer (the official site with the trailer on is VERY Flash heavy so I thought I’d run it here for people who don’t have good computer specs…a.k.a me), enjoy:

What do you think? Leave a comment :-)

Procrastination…

2009-02-05T16:15:00.001-08:00

So, I’m meant to be having a bath then going to bed right now but I’m awful for procrastination…the odd thing is if I was meant to be updating my blog I’d currently be having a bath then going to bed to avoid it, if you want me to do something, ask me to do the opposite and make it sound like a horrible chore. Anyway, not really sure what to update with, hence the totally random subject picture there.

So, today I’ve been using Twitter (yes I’m on about Twitter again) a lot, trying to get myself into the swing of things, at the same time I’m trying to get friends to join too (one down…I know…I have one friend, scary!), but I realised something interesting about how Twitter works. If lets say Jonny Depp started a Deviant Art account he’d get NO interest beyond a few people hoping he posts some photos of himself instead of drawings of stick men with penises. If on the other hand he joined Twitter (which he may have done but I don’t give a crap) he’ll instantly be thrown into stardom. Twitter feeds off your fame from anywhere, meaning if I’m ever to become a much watched Twitterer I need to become known for something OUT SIDE of Twitter.

Now I don’t go looking for fame, that’s kinda lame, in truth I presume I’m unpopular even when previous projects have pulled in a lot of interest (why oh why do I get bored and stop running stuff?!), but it would be cool to know such gripping updates as ‘I had chicken noodles’ would be red by thousands of people…hell I’d be happy with 10…half way there!

So I’ve begun doodling up ideas of different ways to get people interested in me in different mediums, lets say I made a comic and people liked it and joined my twitter, they’d then notice my blog and maybe read it, and the other way around, I guess this is why I’d like a little fame, because it would give me a safety net that something I make wont crash and burn and with that safety net comes a lot more motivation and confidence in my work.

You know what, I’m babbling right now and no doubt no one cares anymore, hell I don’t, I’m actually starting to want that bath so I’m gonna shush up. But once again, if your on twitter check me out, if your not, join, then check me out!

Welcome to the new pad!

2009-02-05T08:37:00.001-08:00

Welcome to the new Blog! For anyone who’s new here this is my new internet home after moving from Moriarty’s Den (hence the 4 months of archives on a new blog). I’m still getting used to the new style and trying to decide how to set everything up so gimme a little time. If my headache goes by tonight I’ll post an update then :-)

twitter

2009-02-04T10:34:00.000-08:00

Ah twitter, I mentioned this little web 2.0 tool a while back and in fairness I tried to play it up but I just didn’t care. It seemed like someone had taken the status update used in Facebook and built a site on that and nothing else. Integrating it into your blog seemed like the only logical use, hence I stuck it on here, over there >>>. Anyway, yesterday, after using twitter for a month I finally tried checking out the twitter community, how? I subscribed to Stephen Fry’s twitter, instantly the site became a whole new thing to me, fun, interesting, and insanely nosey! I found that my TV hero was updating his twitter almost constantly, including his epic adventures getting stuck in a lift, I found this weirdly interesting, and the more I red the more I began to fall in love with Twitter. I’ve heard it being described as the ultimate news feed but always took that as marketing bumph but yesterday I realised it really is. People can update their twitters a lot faster than a news crew can report something. People who were these when something happened will “tweet” which will then spread across the…I’m gonna be cool now and coin a term…Twitter-Sphere in moments!

Alas as cool as this all sounds though I enjoy twitter because it goes back to basics. Pictures are in links, no fancy flash animations, no blinking text or pimped out posts. It feels like the IRC equivalent of Web 2.0 which has a real charm for me, a lover of the simple…no I don’t mean I take advantage of mentally ill people…well, not often but I’m getting off topic. I love the setup, the style, the community, and the popularity of twitter and would recommend everyone gives it a try at least for a few weeks and if you do, subscribe to me and I’ll subscribe to you, and together we shall take on the tweets of others!*

*I probably wont talk to you, but we can pretend right?

Ferrets

2009-02-01T15:06:00.000-08:00

sorry for the sucky lack of good updates this weekend, till next time I hope this puts a smile on your face <3

2009-01-31T13:07:00.000-08:00

Guess who got a Golden Cart version of The Legend of Zelda for the NES today? Oooh yeeeeah! :-D Anywho, I’m unable to find my NES (sods law) so I’ve opted for running it on an emulator (legally!) and I’m looking into a way to mount the cart in a frame for my wall. Sounds OTT but this was the first RPG I ever played and my god I loved it even if I sucked at it. Anywho just thought I’d share. Updates soon darlins.

Silent Hill 2 Walkthough

2009-01-25T12:33:00.000-08:00

I’m feeling too meh to really write a long winded update today, but I did find this awesome guy on YouTube who records walkthoughs for games. Might sound pointless but I’m the kinda person who’ll buy horror games and make my house mate play them cause I’m a wimp. So if you enjoy watching horror games more than playing them, or your stuck and walkthoughts in text don’t help, check this out :D

More Coming Soon

Half Life in 60 Seconds

2009-01-25T05:54:00.000-08:00

5 Scary Games

2009-01-23T14:34:00.000-08:00

So today I’m trying to get a few updates out as you know, so I thought instead of writing a long winded review of one of the few games I’ve completed (that list consists of Castle Crashers) I’d do one of my ‘randomly list 5’ things, and recently horror games have been catching a lot of my attention so I thought why not do a list of scary games? I checked YouTube for scary game lists and realised all of them had listed the same games, and a lot of those games were ether not very scary (Doom 3…wtf?) so here is my list, not all main stream games ether, enjoy:

1. F.E.A.R
F.E.A.R (a bastard for me to type) is a rare hybrid, mixing not only action and horror (which fails 99% of the time) but also first person action. The result is actually very good. Sudden scary moments come just as the games action elements are getting dull and normally the fact it’s a horror game has slipped to the back of your mind and thus the scare is so much worse. I just finished the F.E.A.R 2 demo for 360 and I don’t think I have any clean underwear left now, so the series isn’t losing its ability to scare even after 2 expansions and a stand alone online game.

2. Penumbra/Penumbra : Black Plague
I’ve listed the two games because in fairness Black Plague isn’t so much a sequel but more part two and thus both come recommended. Once again you get thrown into the first person mode but this time with NO weapons. Instead of action this is a puzzle game pushing you to work out what most of the time are not overly complex problems, what makes it hard is the fucked up creatures stalking the hallways trying to find and kill you. When something chases you down a hall screaming and laughing and you know you need to hide trust me you’ll wish you’d setup your laptop by the loo.

3. Condemned
Yes it’s another first person shooter, but this one just like the previous two manages something weird and new. The monsters? Their not monsters, just fucked up people. The scariest enemies don’t even move and aint even enemies (you’ll understand in the shop) and your arsenal? Any pipe, axe, hammer, or bit of wood you can get your hands on. This game is all about close combat, so close you can see the madness in the eyes of a drug addict who’s blinded by rage and just wants you dead. The use of a very crappy torch with very small area of sight gives you an immense claustrophobic feel too. This game had me scared shitless and I wasn’t even playing!

4. Resident Evil 1 (GC)
Wehay finally one that's not action or first person! So, what’s so scary about resident evil? Admittedly it’s kinda like the older brother of Silent Hill which was never quite as good at sports as his little brother but in the GameCube remake of Resident Evil it wasn’t the graphical upgrade that made it scary, it wasn’t the addition of stuff left out of the original, hell it wasn’t even the voice acting. No, it was the Bronze caps. An evil concept by which if you don’t destroy the head or burn the body of a zombie within a set time it would rise again but this time stronger, faster…and able to now not only use doors but stairs. There is almost no escape from one and it’ll keep coming till you kill it for good. This being chased element will make you shit yourself, well worth a go.

5. Clock Tower
Now Clock Tower is an odd choice, for starters its on PS1, it’s graphically shit and it’s about as heard of as me in a hot woman's bed. So, why’d I pick it? Well recently I picked up Clock Tower 3 on the PS2 for my house-mate (I was too scared to play it myself…what? I’m a wimp!) and was horrified to find the game was bogged down by horrid voice acting, happy-happy-joy-joy, a plot which made me wanna kill my friends and family it was so bad and characters you wanted to die. In truth it was still a scary game, but you can’t measure the merits of a horror game just on it’s scariness. Scream scared me, I still think it’s the worst horror movie I’ve watched since House of the Dead. So, I’ve picked Clock Tower 1 (or 2 if it catches your fancy) because I think everyone who can should give this game a chance, it’s truly fucked up and scary putting you in control of a powerless teenage girl being stalked by a serial killer you have to uncover the truth behind what’s going on while not getting killed. Same concept as Penumbra but from a point and click adventure game point of view. The game had me scared before anything had even happened. Get it if you can.

So, before I finish I’d like to make clear, the game that scared me the most ever was Silent Hill 2, and there are plenty of other scary games out there, this wasn’t a list of my top 5, it’s just 5 I’d recommend, so no complaining that I’m wrong or something ok?

Sims 3

2009-01-23T10:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, I’ll admit my shame. I’ve been a fan of the Sims since the first game, I even would have picked up MySims on Wii if I hadn’t gotten rid of my Wii (or if my laptop could run the PC version). I’ve enjoyed both games and all the expansions but in truth I haven’t been looking forward to Sims 3. Why? Well the graphics in the early screenshots looked like they’d finally slipped into the uncanny valley, and beyond the open world and the graphics it looked like there was gonna be little else to offer other than higher system specs and a new £30 price tag. That was till I finally bit the bullet and watched the Developer Game Tour on the sims official YouTube channel. I gotta say it’s won me over big time, looks quite fun. I do wish they’d somehow brought a basic version of the creation tools in Spore into the game to allow some basic customisation for people without the ability to model but even without that the game looks vast, fun, and the iron bladder perk sounds like a god sent if I can unlock it. All the more reason for me to start saving for that new PC a? Enjoy:

Been A While

2009-01-23T09:04:00.000-08:00

Hey dudes and dudes-with-bewbs, if any of you are even still checking this thing. Sorry for the long silence, works been taking up a lot of my time and life's been crushed into the weekends I’d normally use to update. Once again sorry. I’ve been off work for two days ill though so fingers crossed my concentration is here enough to churn out a post or two but I promise nothing!

So, I’ve finally begun to get used to this NetBook although it has presented me with some issues.

1. Even though it’s exactly the same specs as my crap-top and even runs WoW better, after spending 4 days downloading a copy of FFXI (because my copy is on CD and NetBooks don’t have CD drives) I discover it runs it about as good as I run marathons, same goes for a few other games, but no major kick in the knackers, gaming isn’t the reason I got this little thing, interwebs is! Which leads onto problem…

2. Even though this little thing is designed for web use, you know, MSN, Blogging, and browsing the net, due to it’s…hell I dunno what flash consumes but I’m gonna pretend I know and say due to it’s RAM flash heavy sites (so most sites with banner ad’s by fucktards like Sky or O2) cause IE and FireFox to both throw hissy-fits on a scale which will probably force you to ctrl+alt+delete your way out killing any downloads you had on the go as well as any sites you was looking at…really spoils a porn-a-thon you know!

3. This is a Netbook, as I’ve said, their designed for net based stuff, one of those being Blogging. It comes with a basic webcam for Vloggers but that I have no issue with. My problem is that Windows Live Writer isn’t designed for the international Netbook resolution of 1024x600, this means I can’t access some options due to the lack of a tiny scroll bar someone who should be fired at Microsoft (I pray their in the cutbacks) didn’t put in. Not the NetBooks fault in all fairness but still, it’s bugging me and making blogging less enjoyable.

So yeah, needless to say there isn’t any reason for this update, I’ve just got a headache, I’m bored, and don’t fancy shouting at people on Halo 3 so I thought I’d just rant on here :-)

Anywho, I’ll try getting some updates out soon my lovelies <3

Fear the Netbook!

2009-01-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

So, my laptop is about to crap out so thanks to my mum who bailed me out with a £279.95 loan, I am the proud owner of an Advent Netbook :-D

The next few updates may be…shittily written? cause the keyboard is TINY but eeee! New computer!

Microsoft CES 2009 Keynotes

2009-01-12T10:36:00.000-08:00

For all my readers who are as nerdy as me:

Final Fantasy XI

2009-01-10T10:27:00.000-08:00

So, I've done the shameful thing and gone back to Final Fantasy XI :-( if anyone else plays let me know, I need friends in it :-D

Ta-ta for now darlings <3

1 Down, 1999 To Go...

2009-01-09T11:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I've finished my first week of work for the DWP and I'm ready to curl up into a small ball and die.

But alas there is no time for that, for there are things to do! What? I hear myself ask (I'm so alone), and in reply I answer "Play games little guy! For we shall review plenty and fill this blog with more articles than you can shake a stick at for no one to read!" and I'll be all like "Wow, your my hero" and...*ahem* sorry...

ANYWHO! I promise nothing but I'll TRY and get some updates done this weekend my lovelies :-)

Less Than 12 Hours...not that I'm counting...>_>

2009-01-04T15:17:00.000-08:00

So, I start my new job tomorrow. I am pooing myself! Anywho, it dose mean I'll probably be way too tiered to actually update this week, maybe next. So till the next update, good luck in life :-)

Mirrors Edge

2009-01-03T00:09:00.000-08:00

Right it's been a while since I've done one of these, an actual review of a game! For Christmas my parents picked me up a copy of Mirrors Edge, now I know any long time readers of the Den will know I ripped Mirrors Edge a new one based on the demo but to my shock, surprise, and a little bit of sexual joy, the game is VASTLY better than the demo! So, what makes it so good? Read on and find out :-)

Visuals:
Mirrors Edge is one of those games that even at the quickest glance you know what game it is. It's use of white with blocks of vibrant colours is nothing short of beautiful and paints the picture of a perfect city, at the same time it can be a bit of an issue though as so much white can be a bit overwhelming at times and leave you lost, or blind if the brightness on your TV is too high. The game suffers from texture resolution jumps but less than most games (and these days with every game pushing the fold of graphics it's become so common for resolution jumps in textures it hardly seems worth mentioning), I also found that although the levels were amazingly good looking, the human characters...well they didn't so much feel like they'd fallen into the uncanny valley, but more that they were made of clay or something. They looked weird. Even with the graphical floors though Mirrors Edge is one of those games you should get for the visual experience alone.

Audio:
Sound is very important in Mirrors Edge even though it hardly feels like a factor. All of the music is soft and ambient and even the combat music feels so soft the fart of a mouse could drown it out. Beyond music there's a lot of use of background sounds like cars, planes, running water and so on, other than that most of the time the main sound you'll hear is of Faith running, jumping, and grunting in a way which would make any man cross his legs. It might all sound a little pointless but I played a little bit with the sound muted and the world just felt wrong, even though the sound is so discreet, it's vital. Sadly there is an issue with the audio though, the voices over the comm system can be hard to hear at times causing you to miss information which might be useful in the level or plot, which leads us onto...

Story:
The story in Mirrors Edge is...well...pointless. Seriously, first time though I skipped all of the plot it would let me and enjoyed the game just as much as when I played with plot. The fact almost all the cut-scenes are done in 2D feels wrong, kinda like the plot is disconnected from the game it's self, it also felt pointless as 3D in-game videos would have looked and worked better and as far as I can see, would have been easier on the team at Dice. Anyway, the plot follows Faith (you), a free runner in a future city in which the government rules absolute and the world has entered a more pretty looking version of 1984. As all lines of communication are monitored your job is to transport information via the rooftops from one person to another without the cops catching you. The basic idea is very good and I hoped for some form of side-mission which would push you to find ways across the city to deliver information, alas this doesn't exist as your thrown into the main plot when you finish the tutorial. The main plot sees your sister framed for the murder of a government official who wants to relax the control on the city, you set off to prove her innocent blah blah blah. Seriously, if your looking for a deep plot this isn't the game for you. This one is much more about its...

Game Play:
This is truly where Mirrors Edge becomes a good game. Games like Prince of Persia, Assassins Creed, even Shadow of the Colossi have all tried to implement an element of free running, but although some have done it well, none have truly captured the flow and feel of true free running, Mirrors Edge has and has perfectly. The controls are mapped to only a few basic buttons (LT to Duck/Skid/Drop, LB to Jump/Pull Up/Wall Run, RT to Punch/Kick, RB to turn 180 quickly, Y to take a weapon, and B to show where your meant to be heading) which is impressive for such a complex game. The flow of your free running can vary from smooth and speedy if you hit the right jumps at the right times and judge things quickly, or painfully slow and embarrassing when you fall off the same drop 10 times, but beyond a few glitches in the system this is all based on your own skills in the game. One issue I did have was with some places in the game where your free running suddenly became 'slowly climb up these pipes for the next 5 minutes' which broke the flow. The game doesn't really give you 100% freedom but dose give you the feel of it which can be just as good if done properly like it is here. The combat admittedly left a lot to be desired but this is a free running game so I shouldn't be complaining about that, and I happily wouldn't except the fact they force combat down your throat at times which is truly a shame.

My Opinion:
Mirrors Edge should NOT be judged on it's crappy demo, the game is good. It has gotten a bit of a negative press but in fairness although it's not a perfect game, it's a good one and finally dose something new with the First Person system. Admittedly I was let down by the number of loose ends in the story and total lack of a character history for Faith beyond a short sum up which didn't really do her justice. I also felt a little let down by the lack of boss battles (there only being one which wasn't a 1 button quick time event) but Mirrors Edge feels kinda like how Jak and Daxter felt the first time I played number 1; a good game but more importantly it setup for an amazing franchise.

To Sum Up:
I'd recommend this game to anyone, it's learning curve is slow and steady, it's fun, and has a lot of reply value with the time trials and upcoming downloadable content. It has it's fair share of issues and floors but so dose almost every game but at least this one has the excuse that it's trying something new. If there is one reason I'd recommend playing Mirrors Edge it's because I do think this could become a major franchise in the future of gaming, so you'll wanna know where it all starts when your playing later and much more solid titles.

Well...good start to 2009...

2009-01-02T23:18:00.000-08:00

So yeah, if you kept an eye on my Twitter over there on the right you'd know that I got hit with a nasty computer virus yesterday, disabled my ability to access any anti-virus sites, or run any on my system then slowly started to pull apart my laptop. So after a total system wipe I'm back again! I'll try to get an update or two out this weekend because I'm gonna be MIA for the next week as it's my first week in the new job, wish me luck!

5 Sites To Poke

2009-01-01T00:13:00.000-08:00

So, here we are in 2009, feels kinda...2008ish huh? Anyway, I thought instead of making you guys wait days for a review of one of the many games I got for christmas I'd quickly update with a 5 Sites to Visit list like the good ol' days long long ago in 2008. So, here we go:

1. OCRemix
OCRemix (Over Clocked Remix) is a music remix site that's been running longer than I care to remember now. So what's so special about a remix site? Well OCR is dedicated to remixing video-game music. There are countless Final Fantasy battle theme remixes, more Mario Bros remixes than you can shake a stick at, and even a damn sexy Zelda remix which caused me to bump into the site long long ago. If your unsure about checking the site out (because let's be honest, most remixes suck ass) OCR is such a well respected and recognised site that they were taken on to do the music for Street Fighter II Turbo HD! Worth a check if your into a bit of gaming music but your bored of the same old tunes.

2. Twitter
So, my first act of 2009 was to finally join Twitter! If you don't know what twitter is, it's kinda like...well know your status on Facebook, MySpace or MSN? That little bit after your name where you tend to be silly with something like Moriarty : Has Big Balls, or emo and pissy like Moriarty : Hates you for your lies Peter Molyneux! </3. Anyway, Twitter is pretty much a site based around those little updates. I think it's referred to as an on-the-go mini-blog. You can attach Twitter to a mobile device (one vastly better than my chunk of crap) to update on the go too. The idea is that you and all your friends get it and connect up so you can see who's doing what and make plans based around it. Good idea, but for someone like me...well...don't expect a lot of updates in the ol' Twitter feed to the right there >>>>

3. Good Old Games
GOG is quite a new games portal on the net that only sells old games...sounds crap right? Well it's not! GOG specialises in classic games that the new generation won't have a clue about, from the Fallout originals to Broken Sword and from Simon the Sorcerer to the original Oddworld games. GOG not only brings you the classic titles of yester-year but also at the prices of ether $9.99 or $5.99 (so no major mark-up price on old games). Now you may think 'phhh why pay for these games? Their ripping me off on abandonware titles!' but in fairness to them their not. They only sell titles that are not free on the net, they do have 2 titles that you can pick up for free but you can get them from GOG for free too (with walkthoughs and other goodies). All of the games are Vista and XP compatible and GOG will only release a game when they have the rights to release it for the whole world meaning no 'out in the US now but out in Europe in 2 months'. It's rare I support an online shop but GOG seems to be the kinda shop we need more off, they seem to actually give a crap about their customers. Good on them :-D

4. Go2Web20
G2W20 is the ultimate Web 2.0 directory. Not much else to say really...it's got a nice design, easy to use, runs a little slow on crappy computers like mine but for most people it should run ok. If there is some kind of web 2.0 service you need, if it exists, it's most likely there :-)

5. MYRL
Bored of Second Life but hunger for more online social worlds? Why not check out MYRL! MYRL is a small directory of the "best" in social online worlds (personally I'm yet to find one I like so "best" should be based on your own opinion really). What I like about MYRL is it isn't just a link-block. Each button takes you to a small info page on the world and some screen shots to give you a good idea of what your letting yourself in for before you load up what can sometimes be hefty sites with way too many graphics than are needed. If your new to the whole social online world thing this site is for you because you can read up a little on each world without the feeling that your being bullshitted by the worlds own website trying to sell it's self on over played features.

2008-12-31T06:29:00.000-08:00

Well the year is almost up. Only a few hours left before 2009 begins. It's been a good year, admittedly the Den has only been alive for less than half of it, but in about 4 months I'll have updated 68 times, that's not bad considering previous blogs have only lasted a few posts and about a week before I lose interest.

Anywho, this isn't gonna be a long a wordy post, I've got a few posts in the works but with it being new years eve I probably won't get them online till Jan 1st now. So this is just an update to wish everyone a Happy New Year, I hope you all have luck and good will in it and fingers crossed this time a year from now we'll all still be alive and going huh?

Oh the good ol' days.

2008-12-30T06:23:00.000-08:00

Hello!

2008-12-30T00:14:00.000-08:00

So Christmas is over and New Year is only days away. It's been a full year for me with lots of stuff going on. It's kinda peaked in the last few weeks with Christmas rushing, being social (a rare thing for me) and a lot of illness going around (and although I've managed to escape the two major bugs everyone I know seems to have caught, I've found out I have asthma and a heart murmur...joy). Anyway, that's pretty much why there have been no updates for about 2 weeks. Sorry about that.

Theirs a little good news though. With Christmas comes Christmas presents! I've gotten quite a few games to review as I find time as well as a few rants brewing and not to mention some small plans to change how the Den works.

Anywho, I'll try to date soon.

Till then enjoy the new look :D

Dragonica

2008-12-16T19:09:00.000-08:00

I wanted to update with something long and wordy today with at least a few pictures. Sadly I was distracted by being lazy so no major update, sorry. Although I did do my rounds of the MMO websites earlier to see if there was any news on the Open Beta of Runes of Magic (as my download is gonna take over 24 hours thanks to the 3 gig install...I know...scary huh?), no real news on RoM but I did spot an update on Dragonica. This games been mentioned on a lot of MMO sites for a while now but for some reason it caught my interest today and I checked out the new trailer...gotta say the game looks bloody fun!

Anyway, pointless me trying to sell it based on a single trailer, better off showing you the trailer and letting you pick for yourself. Keep in mind it's gonna be hosted by the evil behind FlyFF and Space Cowboy...bastards...

Katy Brand's Music Videos

2008-12-14T15:50:00.000-08:00

Ok as a sorry for no updates this weekend I give you a collection of the spoof music videos by good ol' British born and bred comedian Katy Brand. She's starting to feel like the UK's long over-due answer to Weird Al. Admittedly if your from outside the UK you probably wont get most of the people she's spoofing sorry. Enjoy

XNA, The Future of Homebrew, or Evil Tool for the Retarded?

2008-12-13T10:13:00.000-08:00

So, recently I've been enjoying my 360 more than normal. Why? Well partly because I wanna get my gamer score up (I dunno why, it's as useless as the score in Super Mario Bros. 3 on NES), and also because I've been enjoying the growth and development of the NXE. I must say in general it's going good, but there are a few exceptions. I won't go on about them all today because I wanna focus on one.

The Community Games...

Microsoft released a bunch of tools a while back called XNA, this was to allow small time indy developers to make games on their PC then port it to Xbox 360 and if it passed moderation it would be sold on the Xbox Live Marketplace. Awesome huh? Well I think so.

Anyway, with the launch of the NXE came the launch of the Community Games shop, finally everyone could enjoy small time games for the average price of about 400 points. This appealed to me endlessly because I've always taken the view Homebrew causes creativity beyond that of a major games company. Sadly this isn't so.

There are about 20 games on the community shop right now and almost all of them suck. I know these are small time developers with no real budgets, but I used to be part of a small time MMO project, although we never finished our game, by posting for help on sites like Deviant Art we got some decent 3D modeler, some amazing artists, and some good writers as well as some impressive concept and think-tank members all working for free just because they wanted to be part of a game development team. So how come games like this get into the Xbox Live Community Game Shop:

I downloaded this game cause I thought the cover must be a joke...it's not. This is the quality of images you can paint with the tool. I am in NO WAY joking when I say MSPaint that comes with your copy of Windows, or whatever you get with a Mac and Gimp if your using Linux is VASTLY better than this pile of crap and doesn't cost 400 shitting points!

This is what truly concerns me. The game got though the moderation and put online for people to buy...why? It's the kind of thing freeware sites don't even put online. This shows some serious issues with the moderation and rating system which leads me to believe that within a few months the Community Shop is gonna be filled with horribly badly made games with no visual, gameplay, or audio quality at all. If you don't believe me, and have a 360, download the trial of RPaints and try questioning me then.

Seeing that this can make it onto the shop though has made me realise even I should be able to make a game...so, if you can code C++ and your bored, let me know, let's make a game where a stickman has to jump over lines...we'll be freaking rich!

Actor In Neck Slash Stage Horror

2008-12-10T18:31:00.000-08:00

An actor portraying a suicide bid accidentally slashed his own throat on-stage following a prop mix-up.

Daniel Hoevels, 30, collapsed with blood pouring from his neck after using a real blade instead of the blunt stage knife.

He was taken to hospital after the dramatic scene at Vienna's Burgtheater in Austria.

The audience had been in raptures, unaware the actor was facing his own demise for real.

But when he failed to greet their applause for the show's spectacular special effects with a bow they separated fact from fiction.

Police are now investigating whether the mix-up was murderous.

Full Story Here

Sorry guys and gals for the no-show on an update today, busy day. I did bump into this story on my rounds of the news web sites today though and thought I'd share. Kinda scary huh? I'll TRY to update tomorrow with my real update (got a bit of a rant on the go ) so see you then <3

Blinko - Real Time. Real (Special) People.

2008-12-09T19:41:00.000-08:00

I'll make this quick cause I need sleep bad. So today I was looking around the net when I noticed adverts for a site called Blinko. As far as I can gather without giving them my details it's a social network site aimed at mobile phone users. The site it's self isn't important. What's important here is their advert. Check this out;

Now am I alone in mistaking their horrific little character there for a mentally ill possibly down syndrome kid? Their even worse in the animated adverts (but I couldn't embed the flash into the site to show you the horrors sorry). It's nice to see special people popping up in adverts and other places, but seriously...no ones gonna like me for saying this and the terminology I use, but are they trying to say their entire user base are retards?

Anywho, I might be able to update tomorrow with something a bit more substantial than a YouTube video or a random little thing like this, so check back then you sexy peoples (and the ugly ones too I guess).

...And Yet I Bet He Sucks At Guitar Hero

2008-12-08T12:56:00.000-08:00

Bored? Enjoy!

2008-12-08T11:06:00.000-08:00

The internet is a big place full of wonderful things, weird things, amazing things...if you know where to look. If you don't, the internet is a sodding boring place with nothing to do. Because of this I've been collecting random sites in my favourite menu just to give to you guys to keep you entertained. Today I thought I'd give out a few links to what truly prove the internet is a weeeird place. So, as I can't be bothered to go on and on anymore, here are the sites:

1. The Zentai Project
For anyone worried there might be Hentai (as it's only a letter out) in this site, as far as I can find there isn't any. Instead this site is dedicated to the Zentai movement, a weird form of dressing up. I won't say any more than that because I don't wanna spoil it for you...but seriously, what the hell?

2. Zombo Com (requires sound)
This is Zombo Com...Welcome To Zombo Com...You Can Do Anything At Zombo Com...Yeeees...This...Is Zombo Com...

3. Leekspin (requires sound)
Don't worry, it's not Meat Spin *shivers*

4. You Fell Asleep Watching a DVD
Quite literally the ability to pick a movie from a list and see it's DVD menu on loop in a dark room as if you've just woken up at the end of a DVD...why? Because it's the internet and it can.

5. Clearly Closed
Seriously...I'm all for collections...but what the hell?

R.E.M - Munich

2008-12-06T18:32:00.000-08:00

Cover of Editors Song

Out of the Red and into the £££!

2008-12-06T16:17:00.000-08:00

So, good news! I have a joooooob!

Until recently I've been working on a voluntary basis in a local Charity Shop, but yesterday I got the sexy news that a job I went for a good 2 months back has accepted me. This is good on a few fronts, for starters I get to work in a place with heating. Secondly I no longer will be under the control of A4-fucking-E! About sodding time! Those slave drivers waste my time, and the tax payers money under the false claim of helping people to find work. Thirdly I'm gonna be in the money! This means getting games more up to date meaning reviews about the same time as everyone else. A better PC meaning better gaming, and I finally get to blow some money on doing things I've always wanted to do and no doubt I'll document them here!

So, wehay for me. I hope everyone is sexy good. I'm off to drink Pepsi (ta Del) and eat Yorkie Bar (once again, ta Del). G'Night!

Zombie Master 1.2.0

2008-12-06T07:23:00.000-08:00

So, it's been a long time coming but finally version 1.2.0 of Zombie Master is out! :-D Joy!

So, what is Zombie Master? Before you go shouting rip-off this games been out for longer than Left4Dead's been in the works. Zombie Master is a Mod for Half Life 2 in which a group of online players take on the rolls of survivors in a zombie apocalypse. The twist on this game compared to games like Zombie Panic and Left4Dead is the fact one of the players dose not play a survivor or even play in a first person mode, Instead they take on the roll of the Zombie Master (kinda like a Dungeon Master). The Zombie Master gets an RTS view in which he/she can summon zombies, setup traps, or arrange ambushes of one of 5 different zombie types (all quite similar to the zombies found in Left4Dead, that's your Valve original thinking there). The game, being a mod (and a popular one) has a lot of player made maps, ranging from the shit (Tetris) to the bloody amazing (Asylum). The game has it's fair share of glitches and like any online based game, a lot of arse-holes and people who abuse the Steam in-engine audio system (you get sick of people blasting sound clips or Rick-Rolling you ) but it's a solid mod with fun varying maps and has kept me and my friends amused for a long while.

So, for people who DO know what Zombie Master is and haven't heard about the new update, what dose the update change? Check out these sexy new things:

- Molotovs
- Revolver
- Immolators
- Banshees clinging to the ceiling
- Load-out map entities, letting survivors start out with equipment
- Overhauled spawning menu and system
- Late-joiner autojoin
- Lag compensation: Banshees can now be hit
- Zombie-view spectator camera
- Lots of balancing tweaks, and a lot of bugfixes

I mean, if your getting bored of Zombie Master all I should have to say is "Banshees clinging to the ceiling" and you should be back on there in a flash! It adds a whole new element of tactics for ZM's and a whole new scariness for survivors. Also a new anti-spam system stops people like me spawning a shit load of zombies anymore, meaning some of us need to rethink our tactics.

Check it out : HERE

3D-Bit Awesomeness!

2008-12-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

If your a reader of Kotaku you already know about this, but I bumped into this site though the lord of gaming news that is Kotaku and loved it so much I thought I'd stick it up here for people who don't spend all day trolling though updates on game sites like me and other lifeless people out there.

The site is in Japanese but it's not about the text, however insightful it may or may not be. No, this is about the sexalicious pictures. They are simple but amazing, it took me a while to work out if they were 3D or actually models someone had made and photographed. I love crap like this, if you know of any good sites for stuff like this why not tell me, I'll credit you and stick it up here for the world to see...and by world I mean about 3 people...including me...and you.

Dotter Dotter

2008-12-03T17:24:00.000-08:00

The CrapTop Strikes Again!

2008-12-02T17:47:00.000-08:00

Well I downloaded the 1.3 gig install file. Bypassed the patchier because there is a glitch in it and ran Shin Megami Tensei : Imagine Online. So, how'd it go? Crap

Sadly due to some bizarre programming decisions they decided to code the game to fall back on processor power more than RAM, because of this the game can be run on sucky ram (512mb) but the problem is no computer with 512mb or RAM has a 3.0mhz processor, In truth only new computers do (although I'm not taking into account Korea and other eastern countries from where this game originated's technology levels in comparison to us). Because of this I can't run the game very well at all. On an 800x600 resolution with everything set to low in the graphics menu the game still lost frame rate to depressingly low levels whenever more than about 3 people were on screen, the thing practically died when I entered a patch of monsters.

This is a kick in the balls for me because I've been a fan of the SMT series ever since playing Nocturne on PS2 and soon after discovering Persona 2 on PSX (oh and dieing to get my grubby little mits on a copy of Persona 3). It's also annoying because from what I did get to play the game it's simple, beautiful in it's own basic-graphic way, and actually has a plot that interests me (I've never played an MMORPG and been driven by it's plot before, not even Final Fantasy XI and that has little else too it).

I have passed my Closed Beta account onto a friend though who also loved the Shin Megami Tensei series and is if anything a bigger MMORPG fan than me (you'll find out more about him soon with a new project I'm part of). Fingers crossed I'll get enough feed back off him soon to pass on in a quick post to let anyone out there who's interested (and for some reason reading my blog o_O get a life) if the game is really worth a big download and a slow tutorial.

More news on this soon

Oh Fable II, You Bitch...

2008-12-02T15:05:00.000-08:00

So, I finished Fable 2 a few hours ago. I've gotta say sweet Jesus that sucked. I wanted to tell you how the epic ending topped off a good story but it really didn't. Which brings up a whole new issue in my mind which I think we'll all start to see more and more. I won't say how Fable 2 ended but it ended in a really open way. I know the whole point is that you carry on living after the story, but Fable 1 did that but still ended the story well and gave us an epic battle with Jack of Blades first. Fable 2 doesn't have a final battle...seriously, no big bad boss...and considering up until now their idea of a boss had been throwing trolls at me, I was hoping for something good to make up for laziness but nothing...at all. After the fight you get to pick one of 3 wishes, but unlike in Fable 1 where it was true power or the life of your sister, in Fable 2 it's between bringing your loved ones back to life (which somehow excludes your sister), bringing thousands of people back to life, or lots and lots and LOTS of money. Nothing TRULY evil, just greedy, and whatever you pick the characters try to make you feel like shit for it.

So anyway, you pick one of them and get pretty much the same result with more or less money and more or less loved ones or random people. Then there is a moment in which you realise the story isn't really over and evil isn't gone. I won't say what happens, but you can tell this (unlike Fable 1) is setting up for a truly connected sequel. But then I realised something, it's not...it's setting up to make us wanna fork out money for downloadable chapters, just like GTA IV. These days not only is quality control going out the window on the basis of "we can patch what issues the public find" but also we are paying top money for less than a full game and having to pay more for the rest. Downloadable content like new items or quests is fair enough but whole new chunks of story, that's taking the piss.

But still no matter what I can't over look the fact the ending to Fable 2 sucked balls. I mean a friend warned me about it, but I kinda brushed it off as 'oh he was just let down because we waited so long for this game' but after seeing it...I mean no boss battle? That makes as much sense as Neo going to face Smith at the end of Matrix only to find he'd topped himself...HUUUUGE anti-climax.

Who Rules? I Rule!

2008-12-02T14:47:00.000-08:00

Oh yeeeeeeeeah, I got into the Shin Megami Tensei: Imagine Online beta with Aeria Games! That's put a smile on my face, I'll let you know how it goes when I've played it a bit.

December Look

2008-12-01T16:31:00.000-08:00

So as you can see the sites got a bit of a new colour design. Why? Well a few reasons really. First of all I get bored of one look very quickly so I like to change the design on my sites every so often just to give it a fresh feeling, keeps me interesting in the project and keeps me updating Secondly I'm starting up a new little idea, I dunno how long it will last but instead of a total redesign of the site every so often which has been known to lead to disaster before (I've deleted entire archives by accident) instead I will stick with the current setup but each month on the first (or second) I will update with a new background, title and colour scheme, nice and simple. Third and finally I have some web-space coming my way soon with a domain and everything, it's been over 6 months since the last time I owned real estate on the interweb so it's been a long time since I last got to fiddle with PHP and HTML so I'm trying to get back into it enough to get something respectable made with my fancy new web-space (no, I wont be closing down the Den, this is my own place where I can talk about what I like how I like, the site will be for a project with a team I hope).

So, fingers crossed the snot-green look will be here till January now and then what colour next? Only time will tell!...if you find that at all exciting you should probably kill yourself.

2008-11-30T19:37:00.000-08:00

Well, thanks to my two updates tonight it's now 3:35am and I've gotta be up at 8:50am...shit, gonna be a fun day in work. Night people and hope you enjoy your December

Pinch, Punch First of the Month, No Backsies!

2008-11-30T19:30:00.000-08:00

So, today is the first day of December, the final push before the new year, kids are starting their advent calendars, I've gotta put up my trimmings, and the stockroom at work is gonna be filled with the sound of Xmas songs for the next 25 days (which sounds good but as I'm the only one who enjoys Xmas in the stockroom the music is followed by the grumps and grumbles of old men).

Being at the end of the year always causes me to look back at the year and think about what I've done. Each year it's pretty dull, normally consisting of stuff like survived another year in school' 'finished school and started college' survived another year in college' 'finished college' and so on but this year I realised I can be more proud of myself, in a single year...

I've moved out, made new friends, reconnected with old ones, I've taken up a job for a charity, I've finished more video-games in this year than any year before it, I've opened a blog and kept it running, I've handled some hard times well (or at least well enough to mean I'm still alive and sane...ish) and had a few good times too. I've learnt new things including electricity costs a lot, life sucks without a TV licence, and money doesn't grow on trees. I've taken on the responsibility of two tiny lives in my Hamsters Mog and Mindy, I've rediscovered Tetris though the wonders of Facebook and I've discovered the horrors of being stuck in a small room with 15 chavs who all wanna mug me at best and kill me at worst. I've found new enjoyments like the AG Podcast, Kotaku (yes shockingly before 2008 I didn't know what Kotaku was), and a Cheese Burger at my local Cafe, Bettys. I've started more projects than I can count on my hands and fingers crossed I might actually get one to the point where I can show it off before I shelf it. I've gotten back into my online gaming (Gamer Tag : Ch0vY if you wanna say hi) and challenged myself to read a real book (not a comic book or a kids book) and it's slowly moving alone well. I've loved, and I've lost. I've sparked conversations with total strangers and discovered things I'd never have known otherwise. I've taken small steps towards a more healthy lifestyle (less crisps, more fruit and working in a stockroom always helps), I've discovered music more beautiful than anything I could imagine and I've seen sights more horrific than I'd ever want to imagine (no more 4chan for me!). I've made jokes about cripples to people in wheel chairs and made them laugh, I've made stereotypical references to an Asian guy and been thanks for it. I've been offered pills to extend my penis, keep it up longer, I've won the Spanish lottery at least 300 times, my 20 of my long lost cousins have died and left my over 1 billion dollars in total if only I had my credit card details at hand to give them...oh and I've broken my spam-filter. I've laughed, I've cried, I've even thrown up twice. I've acquired an original Nazi coat (don't ask...I just think they were sharp dressers), two walking sticks and a new hat. I've tried (and failed) to grow facial hair, and I've also discovered shaving over a mole causes a lot of blood. I've discovered new things about friends, I've moved on from old events. I've tried stuff I shouldn't have, yet still I've remained T-Total. I've stood my ground, and I've voiced my opinions. I've been told I should be a writer if only someone would invent a spell checker that can correct the wrong use of 'there', 'their', and 'they're'. I've been called Ugly, Fugly, Disgusting, and an Asshole (love you Mum...I'm kidding incase she's reading). I've watched Wall-E 4 times. I've been told off by the job centre for looking for too many jobs. I've been turned down by too many jobs. I've been accepted for a job, but may not start till May 2009 if at all. I've pissed everyone off by going though phases of using the term 'slappy wag' in every sentence. I've been mistaken for a girl countless times. I've gotten the chance to be there for friends, and I've actually used over £100 in phone credit (I can normally make £20 last a year). I've found out how good it feels to be the big kid in the park who makes other kids too scared to play on the swings. I've tried Sudoku. I've decided to kill the creator of Sudoku. I've won a game of Scrabble (for a Dyslexic that's a big thing). I've played Guitar Hero on a TV over 6ft tall. I've gotten to meet old teachers and see their disappointed expressions when I say I'm unemployed leeching off the government. I've spent a month replacing any term for 'Penis' for 'Winky'...that was odd. I managed to avoid watching even the smallest moment of the Olympics. I've even (to my surprise) managed to come up with theories on religion which have caused religious studies and religious people to question their views and opinions.

But alas I'm not happy. Why? Because even with all these things covered in just one year there are a million more things I wanna do with my life. People say 'oh your still young' but the truth of the fact is in this day and age (or any day and age) I could die in any number of ways at any time and maybe I won't have a significant effect on this world which will justify my existence in the grand scale of the universe, but I've been blessed with a life a lot of people don't get the chance to enjoy or even experience, so I wanna use it before it's too late. I want things to tell the grandchildren when I'm old. I want to grow wise with time though experiences, not what I'm told by others. I know some people might think not being happy with the past year after a list so long no one will be bothered to read it (can't blame you) is a bad thing, but if your content with what you've done with your life that means you have nothing more to live for, and then what's the point? We should always strive for more, but at the same time never beat ourselves up if we fail to reach our goals. I don't really know where I'm going with all of this, I guess I just wanted to rant but for once not about something negative. There is a lot of shit going on in the world right now, horrible things, tragic things, the last thing the world needs is people like me bitching and moaning too. So, enjoy one of the few times you'll read me being the optimist in life. Then go out there and do something you can look back on when you think about this year in your life and this chapter in your book if your ever rich and famous enough to con people out of a few quid.

Paper Mario & Friends

2008-11-30T18:11:00.000-08:00

No, not the name of the next game in the Paper Mario series, in fact this isn't really about Mario at all, it's more about Nintendo. I am a long time lover of Papercraft, I made my first model about 3 years ago (a paper Prince from Katamari, fucking hard but damn was I proud till I dropped a book on it) although there are a LOT of Japanese sites to sift though to find good papercraft to cut up and glue together. I was browsing the net today though and stumbled upon Nintendo Papercraft!

Nintendo Papercraft is a huge site that catalogs and links to hundreds of different Nintendo based papercraft works for you to make ranging from the simple box characters all the way up to intricate highly detailed models of characters like Ganon or Falco Lambardi. There are also some strange models like the PictoBox from Wind Waker and Sonic pops up in the Others category.

The Categories are simple covering all the major titles from Nintendo and each is over flowing with models to print out.

One thing I liked about this site also is a discreet link under the Category list which will take you to a 16+ Minute Tutorial on how to rip textures from N64 games and turn them into papercraft. With helpful stuff like this for budding papercrafters you can be sure the site will be stocking up on new models for years to come.

So, if your interested in making yourself a Paper Mario Hat to wear or maybe Link's Master Sword to hit people with (will probably bend after the first hit though so go for the heart) or even just a cute little Box Bunny Mario then check out the site!

Website : Nintendo Papercraft

Fable 2 Review

2008-11-29T18:55:00.000-08:00

Right, time to review the game! Now then...this is currently the third attempt at starting this review because Fable 2 is one of those games where you don't know where to start when it comes to explaining it. Let's go for the basic points first starting with Story.

The story in Fable 2 follows you, a hero who doesn't know it yet. You and your sister (who sounds like she's voiced by someone from Eastenders) are homeless orphans living on the streets with dreams of one day living in the Castle. Needless to say life doesn't stay like this for long as something major happens which causes the world around you to change forever. The plot in Fable 2 is just as dark as the first Fable but this time with better voice actors, and the fact your an orphan with only your sister to look after you in the world it feels like so much more is ripped away from your character than in the first game. I'll admit I've not finished the story in Fable 2 yet but think I'm about half way though and so far I'll give it too them, Lionhead Studios have written a long story full of interesting characters, dark moments and some good humour. To accompany the major plot as you move though the timeline you'll also follow the stories of some lesser characters like a businessman who's always asking for help with some idea or another.

So, moving on from Story lets talk about Audio, another area that Fable did right but Fable 2 has improved upon. Although a lot of the world doesn't use music the ambient sounds as well as the chatter of children or the calls of market stall owners really gives the game a feeling of life. Voice acting is all top quality and kudos to LH Studios for using the voices of not only Stephen Fry but Zoë Wanamaker and the man behind Firefly's Shepherd Derrial Book, Ron Glass. When there is music it's very fitting to the atmosphere of the area your in and works very well in battle. The use of audio in this game also includes the wise choice of when to use none at all. A few times I've managed to get though Demon Doors and into the twisted worlds behind them and the lack of any music or ambient sound at all gives a really weird, unnerving but beautiful effect to the areas.

Right then, I think next we'll cover game play...now lets watch Fable 2 fall on it's face. Now don't get me wrong, the basic controls are smooth and work well, but there are so many issues with handling in this game. Your character turns so slowly at times you'll end up looking like a moron as you walk into walls. There is also the issue of your characters inability to swing at small boxes on the floor resulting in you having to kick each box one at a time instead of doing one fine swoop. Using items is a slow and cumbersome process involving you having to pause the game, go to your items menu, find the item you want to use and pressing a, but if you want to use the item twice you have to go though the same process again as the second you use an item it closes the menu. There are hotkey's for the D-Pad to use items but they will only appear when the game feels you NEED them and there seems to be no option that I can find to hotkey items myself. Another control issue which bugged me was spells. In Fable 1 you'd hold down your trigger then press A,B,X or Y based on what spell you'd hot keyed to what button to cast it. In Fable 2 you only have one spell button, you assign spells to it based on how long it's held down, the problem with this though is if you want to use a spell above level 1 you have to hold the button down without being hit for a few seconds, which is almost impossible if there are more than about 3 bad guys on screen. Issues are not just limited to controls though, there are also problems like the lack of an ability to steal anything off shop shelves like you had in Fable 1, the ability to buy items in bulk is gone, and battles jump between stupidly easy to next to impossible. Visually some fights can get so confusing due to the number of bad guys on screen I was left unable to see my own character and just button bashed the X button till everything died. House owning is also an area of game-play which is vastly over rated. You make very little money renting stuff out considering how much you'll put into the house. I've spent well over 50k on houses in the game but for all the houses combined the rent is only 1,300, makes it hardly seem worth it.

Ok what next? How about the online mode? LH Studios bragged about the drop in system for Fable 2 and in fairness I have to admit it works beautifully. One second I was running around alone, the next minute a menu popped up, I picked what gold, experience and so on I wanted to share and my brother jumped into my game, took about 1 minute and wasn't confusing (although we did have some issues with hearing each other over our headsets, but I've put that down in one of the billions of glitches in the game). Sadly though that's about all the praise the Online mode gets. For some unknown reason you cannot bring your own character into someone else's world...this makes NO sense as every item your character can wear is stored on the other persons CD too meaning the information you'd have to send over the net to use your character would be tiny, the fact you can see the hosts character means viewing other peoples characters wasn't an issue for LH Studios so I have no idea why this was messed up, the only logical reason I can come up with is the fact they'd admitted the online co-op may not be out with release but managed to rush it and get it in, maybe they had to cut corners and we'll see this change in a future patch. This isn't the only problem with the co-op mode too. The second someone joins your game or you join theirs the camera switches from the nice smooth good working camera you've gotten used too and becomes a fixed camera, nether players gets control over it and it limits the movement of characters so that they cannot be more than about 10 feet apart. This doesn't sound too bad but numerous times while playing we'd be unable to see where we were going because the camera would get stuck in front of us, or would shift violently without warning causes us to run the wrong direction, sometimes it would even move in a way where one of us would get stuck until the other came running back. The online mode is something that got me VERY excited for Fable 2 along with many friends and we all feel cheated by it.

Ok so how about Downloadable Content? Well there is none. A lot of people would see this as a bad thing but I see it as a good sign. How much would it piss you off if you baught a game brand new only to find content online at a premium price? You'd feel you'd paid full price for half a game. Also to be fair LH Studios have just announced a peice of DLC which will unlock a whole new land with quests and a continuing plot and in a move of kindness will release a patch which will allow players without the DLC to still co-op with people with it, good of them if you ask me.

So, that's Audio, Gameplay, Story, Online Mode and DLC...what else? Oh, visuals!

The graphics in Fable 2 are beautiful, sure the textures are not amazing but everything works so well, the fact plants will move under your feet looks beautiful, the way the lip sync on even the smallest mouths of children are done perfect looks good too and shows a good level of attention to detail. The landscapes are very immersing and truly inject some colour into this brown generation of gaming. Sadly there are areas where the visuals fall down a little though. Almost all the women in the world (and the men) are pretty damn ugly unless their whores, also a lot of the weapons in the game are rehashes of previous weapons with new textures which feels a bit cheap. One of the biggest issues I had with the game though is my classic complaint, it's not very SD TV friendly, and I know a lot of people will say that's a silly complaint to make in a world which is going HD but there are still a lot of us who can't afford HD TV's and as long as there are I will continue to see this as a problem.

God I've written enough for a short book and there's still more to go, almost done now though!

Next the matter of character customisation. This is a major part of the Fable series and what caused it to stand out in a world of other RPGs. All in all it's pulled off very well in Fable 2 but I do have some issues. I played as a woman with the intention of turning her into a hot goth chick (what can I say, if your gonna give me the tools to make a sexy woman I'm gonna do it). Alas this went horridly wrong though because the second I upped her physical strength she turned into a huge butch lesbian bordering on the edge of being a genderly challenged man. To make it worse although I'd only taught her a few basic spells as I wanted to mainly use my sword these spells had caused the magic markings on her skin to appear. Also due to a few bad deeds my skin was covered in some freaky lines which just looked ugly. I know LH Studios wanted to make everything have a reaction in the world but I quite liked Fable 1's system where stuff like getting fan required eating a shit load of food, not having 3 or 4 pies. Things had to be done in excess for the effects to show which worked well, in Fable 2 you have to be careful of EVERY action incase it turns you into some cross-dressing whore look-a-like.

Oh, I almost forgot something unforgivable! The Dog! Fable 2 prides it's self on an IA Dog which accompanies you and sniffs out treasure as well as doing tricks, looking cute and chewing on the ankles of bad guys who are knocked to the floor. He can be useful but half the time he feels kinda pointless, he'll bark at chests which are blatantly in the open and anyone can see, any treasure he finds in the ground for you to dig up is usually crap, and his only REAL use is to get you though 1 demon door and find treasure for the archeologist quests. Maybe if they'd given some more interaction than fussing, scolding, feeding and healing it I'd have enjoyed it's company more but in truth I'm starting to wonder about the mental health of the guy in my local Game who told me by the end of the game he had kinda bonded with his dog. In fairness though he doesn't really get in the way if you can ignore his barking, so he's no major issue.

So, time to end this review by summing up for everyone who skipped the wall of text above. If you did read your probably a bit untrusting of Fable 2 with all the issues I raised but in fairness sure the controls are badly thought though, and 90% of what they promised us isn't in the game, and the online mode sucks, and the golden line that's meant to lead you around will constantly get confused and send you the long or even wrong way, and you'll spend way too long doing timed button tapping games to make money, all of this is overlooked if not forgiven by the humour which will have you at least smiling if not laughing at times as well as the well written plot which will keep you playing and telling yourself 'just 10 more minutes' till it's 6am. For every issue in Fable 2 there's some element of charm or some little nod to the previous title which will cause you to forgive it and carry on Some of the games floors are almost charming in themselves, and if you need more convincing to give this game a shot all I should need to say is Stephen Fry man! Stephen fucking Fry!

TRAILER

Fable 2 Take 3!

2008-11-29T17:35:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday I was in town looking around, avoiding the guy dressed up as a teddy bear, and trying to talk my house-mate into hugging the other guy dressed as Santa when I walked into Gamestation to find Fable 2 for £20...now keep in mind just down the road it cost £39.99, and I'd forked out £39.99 for my original two broken copies. Now I know I had vowed not to touch Fable 2 for at least 6 months due to the looooooong list of fuck ups, let downs, and general butt-fuckery when it came to working CDs, but at £20, and the offer only on for a week I gave into temptation and spent half this fortnights food money on a copy...so back to frozen chips every night for me for 14 days.

Anyway, I got home, stuck the game in and rushed the sloooow intro (I've now seen it over 5 times...needless to say at this point I'd begun to hate the guy selling the "magic" items) and got to the point that my game ALWAYS freezes up aaaaaand...

IT FUCKING WORKED!

Yup, I am now officially a Fable 2 player! About fucking time Lionhead fucking studios!

Anyway, Just wanted to post this I'll get to writing the review now

If Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, How Many Do?

2008-11-29T17:26:00.000-08:00

So, I was in town yesterday hanging around in the game shop bugging the staff with questions about Fable 2 CD issues and so on when I noticed the setup demo for customers to play on the new Sonic for everything except the little white box that specialises in party-based DVD games (Wii). Now as any gamer will know, sonic went down hill a while back, the specific title he lost his way on is a little mixed up though, some people say it went bad after Sonic 3, some people say after Sonic Adventures on the Dreamcast, others say sonic is still good while rocking back and forth in a dark corner drawing their fan-art and stuffing their faces with Pocky.

Anyway, there is a whole new generation of gamers growing up now without a good Sonic title, lets just say that. Because of this I was more than a bit unwilling to try the demo so I must admit I hung around and watched others play...oh...my...god when will Sega ether put a bullet between the blue bastards eyes or make a chuffing good game?! Visually the game, although quite polished, felt like it was lacking something and cluttered up the screen to horrific levels of ugliness. It was slow...a sonic game...that's SLOW, wtf?! Worst of all was the combat which has been butt fucked and replaced with a warehog hack and slash style battle system instead of just jumping on things or spinning at them...you know...like sonic is MENT to do.

I know I can't give an accurate review of the game based on looking over the shoulder of an uncomfortable gamer lacking the same to avoid the controller of doom, and I know after I've posted this I'm gonna have to wait for the demo to pop up on XBL and try it out just so I can back up my rant here, but seriously, how on earth dose Sega continue to fail at a game which was good for its simplicity?

Sorry

2008-11-24T13:28:00.000-08:00

Whoops, sorry for the lack of updates this weekend, had some planned but instead abused my back changing the setup in my room to make it more Nerd friendly (wide screen TV next to bed and so on). I'm collecting up some stuff for a list-thingy for web 2.0 fans though :-)

I'm also gonna write up my basic + and - of NXE on Friday.

May update soon <3

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly #1

2008-11-21T12:29:00.000-08:00

Bored of doing my usual '5 random things to check out' or reviewing a game that no one cares about anymore or something I thought today I'd start something a little different. The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly will pop up every now and then and in one post I'll give you one game I consider good, one I think should be burnt, and one that's just down right hideous. So, let's begin:

MMO

The Good
Magic World Online
I hate...HATE Ancient Asian MMO's, their way over done, boring and feel horridly unoriginal. Every time I play one it's the same dribble and gets boring, no creativity. Because of this when I'm presented with an Ancient Asian MMO I skip it, every time, this includes Hero Online, Kal Online and plenty more with the word 'Online' after them. Oddly though the other day in a mad fit of 'what the hell, let's give it a go' and because I'd run out of other MMO's to try I downloaded Magic World Online. This is hard for me to do...but I have to admit I enjoyed it I've put a few hours in and although the game isn't without it's bugs, boring bits and grinding (a lot of grinding) it feels like if the guys behind Legend of Mir had made an up to date version of their game this is what it would be like. Sadly there is a huge draw back. Although the graphics are 2D, the word is huge and because of this the download file size is HUGE. 2.28 Gigs for the install pre-patch isn't pretty for a 2D game but in fairness if you want a quality 2D MMO it's worth the download time (provided you have the bandwidth).

The Bad
Atlantica Online
Atlantica Online will strike you as an odd one for me to stick down as 'Bad' because it looks so bloody gorgeous. I'll admit it's up there, way up there, when it comes to graphics, but sadly that's about it. The game play on it is so boring. The GUI is about as simple as brain surgery and the battling although seems awesome at first, quickly becomes a bit boring and over done but unlike every MMO that works like this, at least their one click battles, these are about 25 click battles...joy. The quests are pretty boring, the characters keep spurting out the same single line over and over and I don't mean that in any exaggerated way (every time they attack, every time their clicked on, every time they do ANYTHING they'll say the same line which my good lord will drive you insane O_O) The download is 2.04 gig which is a lot for a game which is needlessly confusing from the start, boring, and will annoy the piss out of you.

The Ugly
4Story
4Story will make no sense to you looking at it, not just in pictures but videos because it looks good, and I genuinely thought it would be my new MMO to play religiously...theeeen I spotted something. 4Story is hosted by the nemesis of the MMO, Game & Game. Game & Game are notorious for picking up good or at least interesting looking MMO's, badly translating them to English, then sticking them on servers as old as I am leading to epic lag causing REALLY shitty game play. Once again they've done the same with 4Story. The game play jumps around constantly, it took one time 5 minutes for an NPC to talk to me thanks to lag. Game & Game have the ability to make ANY game ugly and they've made this one hideous though the fact it seemed like such a quality game before they hosted it. I wouldn't recommend this game for a few years, give G&G time to go bankrupt and someone else to buy up the rights to hosting then give it a go and I'd say you'll be facing a high quality game

So, there we go, that's the first GB&U, fingers crossed I'll be able to make more of these soon and I hope you enjoyed it and your a little curious to try these games. Let me know of any you'd recommend for any GB&U lists too

New Look? I'll Say!

2008-11-20T14:22:00.000-08:00

So, as you can see the Den has a bit of a new look. I fancied a bit of a change after the fancy look for a while. Something that would fit my cool Xbox Avatar (I have to admit I've fallen in love with the Avatar System on NXE ) and something a little brighter.

My weekend starts tomorrow so fingers crossed I'll get some updates out on here soon I'm kinda low on content right now though, might go on an MMO spree, give some short reviews or something unless I find something worth giving a long rant on, but I'll try getting some kind of update online.

Anywho, I'm off to lose against the end boss in Gears of War a few more times, why is he so bleeding hard?!

It's Mii- I mean, It's Me!

2008-11-19T10:43:00.000-08:00

Ok so I just finished playing around with the NXE update and I'm quite happy with it, I'm still getting used to it though cause it is a total over-hall of the original system, there are also a few bugs Microsoft didn't expect on launch day even after a week of beta-testing which is a shame (mostly slow loading content or not loading at all) I'll give it a week then write a short review of the NXE when I'm more at home with it (if I can be arsed).

Till then one thing I'll say is I LOVE the Avatar System Seriously, I know it's a cheeky rip off of the Mii's but you can forgive them considering just how much better than Mii's and how much more integrated they are into the Dashboard. The fact you only get one pre-profile means you feel that your Avatar is YOUR Avatar unlike the Wii where I owned over 100 Mii's and could use any of them.

Anyway, as I'm gonna be a bit quiet for the next few days (as always I'll try to update a few times on the weekend), I thought I'd let my adoring fans see their Moriarty in his full glory!

FEAR ME!

EEEE! TOMORROW!

2008-11-18T16:21:00.000-08:00

Only a few hours till I can turn on my Xbox and see something like this

EEE! *sex wee!*

I'll try to update after I've toyed with NXE a bit but I'm ill and have work and all so I'll probably end up in bed by 7pm :-(

If There Is A God, This Has Condemned All Humanity To Hell...

2008-11-17T09:20:00.000-08:00

Guitar Praise 'Rocking Jesus' trailer

Still better than WiiMusic though

Left4Dead...again?

2008-11-15T17:52:00.000-08:00

Jesus Christ! I just stuck on Left4Dead again to show my house-mate, for starters playing in a dark room at 1am it's even more scary (but you'd have to be a bit weird to not know that) but more importantly I'd forgotten about the director feature in which every time you play a level it will be different. Obviously not the level it's self but the number of Zombies, what types, where their placed and so on.

Good example of this would be just now. I was playing though the demo finding it a little harder than last time but only a few more Hunters and Smokers, nothing major. Then I got to the final push at the end, here's how it played out:

FIRST TIME:
I run into the room, hit a switch and suddenly I'm swarmed by a pack of zombies which I had to fight off till I got to a mounted gun and ripped them to bits. The End

SECOND TIME:
I run into the room and instantly I'm attacked by a few zombies, while working on these I didn't notice the fucking huge monster coming up behind me which hit me though a window and down a flight of stairs. I had to empty about 15 shotgun shells into it before it dies. Then I run over to the button and hit it causing the swarm of zombies, but this time they come out of a second window too blocking off my way to the mounted gun, quickly I grabbed a Molotov Cocktail and set the floor in front of me on fire and picked off the left over zombies with handguns. The End

Not only dose this keep even the demo fresh, but makes every moment potentially cooler. The first time I was bowled over by the game alone, second time I was won by the shear awesomeness of fighting giants and burning zombies. This truly keeps the game fresh and makes the 20 levels in the full game seem like they could last for a long long time before they get even a little dull. This is gonna be a good game.

Then I showed my house-mate Mirrors Edge...she thought it was bland, boring and kinda sucky...Mirrors Edge is losing fans quickly :-(

And Now Something A Little Different...

2008-11-15T15:48:00.000-08:00

This is genuinely someone's 'About Me' on a social network site I'm a member of...

ryt mi name sarah im 19 i live in dirty denaby

im at college doin mechanics

yh im single n wt lvin tho lol

i ant a lemon so dnt ask cuz il av t smash ya lol

lv mi m8s lol

im always up 4 a laugh lol

i ate snobs cnt stand erm

im a chav n wt lol

if ya dnt lyk me get piss ov cuz i wont lyk u eitha

i ant shy im a gobby bitch oh well i tel ya ow it is dnt care if i hurt ya feelin oh well thts me n ant a nice bird im a nasty 1 lol

cnt wait t move art mi mams il b doin a party lol

so really life is shit

if ya mingers dnt luk at mi page

cuz i wont b lukin at urs

if ya want mi msn ask 4 it.

ant got nwt t say so cya bye fuckin gone xx

All I can say to that is I'm now officially pro-abortion right up untill the age of 20...

Mirrors Edge

2008-11-15T15:29:00.000-08:00

Well, I just finished the Mirrors Edge demo...I've gotta say although the game seems amazing, and I didn't find it half as confusing as people made it seem like I would...I was a tad let down by the demo length. I mean Left4Dead's demo felt like a short but full level, this felt like it was just the tutorial. The lack of a skip button making you watch the same boring clip every time you failed a tutorial pointer was annoying too. I have high hopes for the game but in truth I had high hopes for the demo so I feel a little disheartened now

I'll write a real review of this one when I pick up a copy sometime when I have the money for it (which will admittedly be a while off)