The Fuck….he’s not dead?

HELLO! I know I know, it’s been a month, sorry but between life, work, and projects I’ve had no time :-(

Check this out though, might keep you happy for a while :-D

It’s baaaack…

E3 : Ergh Ergh… Ergh?

So E3s been and gone for another year, and what is there to make of it? Not a whole lot in truth. Nintendo announced nothing interesting, just more health products. Microsoft showed off that EyeToy of theirs which will only spark my true interest when some substantial games come out for it, they also bragged about the next Metal Gear Solid coming to 360 but seriously, dose anyone except core-fans care anymore? I mean the series went shit after game 1! What’s his face, he creator is given far too much credit for what are mediocre at best games with no originality. As for Sony they showed off what would happen if a Wiimote had sex with an EyeToy resulting in some funny hypocrisy from fan boys who up until now wouldn’t shut up about the Wii being a fad but suddenly now are going on about how the Sony “Wand” is much better than the Wiimote.

On the games front nothing truly caught my eye. Square Enix are bringing us FFXIV…which is FFXI but more next generation…boring. EA still rule the gaming world, and…ergh…you know what? It just sucked. I dunno why I thought it’d be good, E3 has been dying for years now, I’m going back to being excited about real game shows like the GDC!

Got some game reviews to type up soon, until then ta ta! <3

Ps. Oh and Sony announced the PSP Go…seriously guys, let the PSP go, the system was a bust, Nintendo owns that market cut your losses and stop making fools of your selves :-(

The Secret of Monkey Island : Special Edition

It has been a long time since I’ve played a classic game, one that ticks all the boxes of being fun, funny, tricky, long lasting, and when you’ve finished it you kinda wish it wasn’t over. The last game to truly stir up a reaction like that from me was the Jak and Daxter series. After watching the big announcements from E3’s press conferences I must admit I think I’ve got a while to wait before another game pops up that I will add to the magical list of classic titles in my heart but until then Lucas Arts has finally won a little respect back off me after way too many Star Wars games by re-making Monkey Island 1! It’ll be out on 360 soon but isn’t simply a port, it’s a total upgrade with new graphics (although if you like the old 8bit ones, just press the B button), voices (from the guy who voices Guybrush all along and many of the other cast have returned) and a new simple interface which allows for more beauty on screen. This was probably the second Adventure Game I ever played (Sam and Max Hit The Road being the first) and being young at the time and as dyslexic as I am sexy the game didn’t really have a profound effect on me with it’s lack of audio. I went back a few years later with the ability to keep up with the on screen text and found it to be hilariously funny, incredibly quirky, and all in all just down right weird and I bloody loved it.

In a day and age where most of my fellow gamers can’t remember anything pre-Halo and adventure games only being kept alive by a hand full of companies it’s nice to see one of the original titles coming back and let’s hope this pushes a remake of Monkey Island 2 :-D

Here are some examples of the before and after:

 

 

 

And if that wasn’t enough to get you squeeling how about this:

The Beatles Rock Band

This is the time of year where all core-gamers (pisses me off that these days we are defined as ‘core-gamers’ because things like the wii have caused any idiot to acquire the title of ‘gamer’ ergh) spend a few days glued to their computers but not for gaming, no, to watch sites like Kotaku and GameSpot for the latest from E3!

Due to the volume of stuff coming out of E3 this year (and my 3 days off from work) with luck I should have a lot to update with, but if your not interested in games, you might wanna give the blog a skip for a few days :-)

Anyway, lets start off with the first game shown at Microsoft's press conference. Now I’ve been playing Rock Band a lot after picking it up the other day and feel it’s far superior to Guitar Hero in numerous ways, but one thing both Guitar Hero and Rock Band do badly is band based releases (Eg. Rock Band AC/DC and Guitar Hero Aerosmith), these normally cost way too much considering they are basically no more than expansion packs which come with less songs than the basic games, and are setup to only appeal to one type of person, I made the mistake of picking up the Aerosmith Guitar Hero to find less than half the tracks of a normal GH game, a lot less stuff to unlock and buy, and all the tracks were at best boring, at worst even your great grandfather wouldn't know them cause they flopped. There is a horrible lack of variety in these games and thus I’d advise anyone to steer clear of them. That being said though they did announce the new Rock Band with the intro video, and no matter how much I watch it, I still love it, so give it a look:

E3 2009 Press Conference : Nintendo

E3 2009 Press Conference : Sony

E3 2009 Press Conference : Microsoft

Windows 7

Hello sexy people and everyone else!

Finally after much screaming, shouting, and a lot of crying I’ve fixed my Netbook, but not only fixed it, I’ve upgraded to Windows 7 which I must say has impressed me. It runs beautifully on a system that would sooner cure aids than run Windows Vista and it dose it all at top quality. Don’t get me wrong it’s not without it’s issues but their all forgivable.

Anyway, no major update right now, gotta clean my house, but soon my dears…soon

<3

Oh and get your BETA TRIAL (1 free year I’ve been told) of Windows 7 HERE :-)

 It’s Almost Here…

I Hate Hypocrites…

So today I get home from work after having a good ol’ laugh about one of the notorious liars in the office joined a group on Facebook I was told was called “I Hate Liars” only to find a few people in my own friends list had joined too! It appears after some inspection (a.k.a taking a look at the groups front page) that it’s a small group started recently which had boomed in only a few weeks to be over 200k strong. This seems hilarious to me, why? Because each and every person in that group is a liar, to make it worse by joining they are actually lying, how?

Well for starters how are they liars? Well each and every one of us lies, be it “no that doesn't make your butt look big”, or “it’s not you, it’s me”, and of course “I  can’t come into work today, my Nan’s had a stroke”. EVERY ONE on gods green earth has lied! And I don’t mean when their a child, I promise you in the past year we’ve all told a lie, even if it’s dressed up as a “little white lie” or one just to cover someone else form getting into trouble, that doesn't matter, it’s still a sodding lie!

And how are they lying by joining? Well “Hate” is a big word, it is the total opposite of love and we don’t throw love out as a meaningless term so nether should hate be used in the same way. My parents have lied to me, they told me there was such thing as Santa, do I hate them? Fuck no! What do you think I am, a bloody heartless bastard?! If you hate people for telling a lie your a sick and messed up person who appears to be unable to distinguish any shade in the scale of good and evil other than black as night and white as the average BNP member.

This group is moronic but people will continue to join it just out of guilt or a need to boost their ego a bit. I’ve been invited to this group and I shall happily decline because I have no shame in saying I am a liar as we all are, and I don’t hate fellow liars because without them the world would die.

 

END RANT

The Weekends Here!

Ah with a new bank holiday weekend here I feel refreshed and motivated to post an update. Don’t get me wrong though, that isn’t my full motivation. On the way to work this morning I saw my full motivation, and on the way home had to snap a photo of it without looking dodgy…not easy…especially when your me. So what was it? This:

What is it? Well for a moment I thought it was an advert for some kind of health food but then I realised that there’s no product placment and in fact the caption under it is a snide remark on media coverage and how people become famous in this day and age (I can’t quote it cause I can’t remember it and due to the low pixels on my camera you wont be able to read it sorry). After staring at what is actually a rather unappealing woman sprawled out on a plate in nothing but a bikini for a few seconds too long not to look like a weirdo I realised this isn’t even professional, my only guess would be it’s ether an art project, or the weirdest form of graffiti I’ve seen in a long while. Ether way I love it! This is what I’ve felt Newport needs, ART!

Our Graffiti scene is appalling with only shit tags dotted around by what seems to be only 2 taggers, I know this’ll be covered up in the next day or so but who knows, it may motivate others to start making their own statements.

If you do live in the Newport area I’d recommend checking it out, you’ll find it on Caerleon Road just after Bird Shit Bridge heading away from town, check this link for a better idea of where: LINK!

If you know of any impressive “street art” (hate the term, way too urban for me) in this area let me know! I’m sick of everything being so mundane and proper here (or the other extreme of falling down and shit)

Anyway, may update later but I’m off for chips! Ta ta!

ZOMG IT’S RUBBERDUCKZILLA!!!

Fable 2 : See The Future

There’s an old saying “Fool Me Once Shame On Me, Fool Me Twice Shame On You” but who’s the shame on when you get fooled a third time? I dunno but I’m gonna lay the blame fully on Lion Head Studio, the bastards!

I am a long time fan of Fable, but each time I get burnt, I got burnt by Fable and The Lost Chapters, I foolishly thought things would change with Fable 2 and after 3 broken copies I finally got to play the game and was let down horridly with many of the promises from Peter being untrue (Peter being the games creator, I shant refer to him by his last name cause for the life of me I can never remember it nor spell it). Anyway, feeling let down by Fable 2 when I heard Knothole Island was to unlock a whole new island and story and mini-quests I was really excited and bought it on the first day of release…big mistake. Not only was the new island unimaginative and the new story about 2 hours long, but the release of new items made characters stupidly over powered. I once again felt let down by a company I’m fast losing my love for.

So, what did I do when I heard about See The Future? I should have said to myself “Tim, now be serious, you’ve been hurt before, don’t go crawling back like some cheap whore” but what did I do? I whent crawling back like the cheapest whore you can find and then some. So, what happened? Well I found out LHS are a bunch of lieing bastards!

There were a few things promised in this expansion:

1. More Gameplay
This didn’t happen and due to less annoying puzzles than Knothole it actually lasted less time!

2. A BOSS!
The Necromancer was touted as a hard boss who would make up for the lack of a real boss all the way though Fable 2 and Knothole. This was sadly not the case, admittedly if I’d been the power I was when I finished Fable 2 I’d have struggled, but the fact is almost everyone has gone though Knothole and picked up the over powered items meaning just like me most people no doubt walked though the “boss battle” with little effort.

3. A Look At The Future Of Fable And Possibly Fable 3
This did and didn’t happen. I don’t wanna give this away because some of you even after reading this will still want to play the expansion and I can’t blame you, I ignored bad reviews too but the look into the future was a horrid let down, it lasted almost no time and told us fuck all and felt hollow and chucked in as an after thought. I was hoping for maybe a genuine piece of plot developing information or something to truly look forward too.

4. More time talking to…erm…that blind lady at the tower?
This did happen, I had a nice conversation with what's her face but it didn’t give me any more insight into her motives for taking the tower which peed me off a lot!

5. Get To See A Restored Oakvale!
Yes this happens, you get to see Oakvale trapped inside a snow globe but the way it was talked about I thought it would somehow be restored in the world of Albian and I’d get to explore it properly and use the shops and buy a house there and so on (maybe even the house from Fable 1) but alas nay, you just run around it killing monsters to restore the colour (ergh, gay) then your done and leave…WTF?!

All in all this was as if not more disappointing than Knothole because at least in Knothole although it wasn’t good it lived up to what they said it just didn’t do it very well, this one feels like one big lie. But you know what? If they release another expansion I’ll buy it…I’m a fool but I’m in love :-(

Sat Here In Bettys…

So I’m sat here in Bettys Cafe on the first day of being 22 on my laptop drinking coke and watching the world go by. Something seems kinda…uplifting about today? It’s not your normal “EEE! BIRTHDAY!” kinda sensation, it’s something different, maybe it’s the realisation that short of a relationship my life is almost all worked out, or maybe it’s just cause I’m running on so little sleep, but ether way I feel good and I hope you all do too.

So, I said I’d update as soon as my net was back, my net isn’t back, infact as I type this I have no means of uploading it (no WiFi in the Market) so I’ll have to use my phone again and screw over my data limit a little more tonight when I’m home. This also means no humorous or interesting links cause I have no access to them, so I kinda have no idea what to talk about (I say “kinda”, I mean I have NO idea).

I’m currently toying with the idea of starting a new comic, my first idea was “bring back Life of Timmy”, but I run that comic into the ground towards the end, but I do like the idea of continuing the life story of the fictional version of me, I mean now he has a job with a whole new cast of characters, he has new and old friends, and a flat of his own, not to mention he still has his trusted friend Zombie!

The more I type it out the more I realise I can’t turn away from a universe I spent the best part of 4 years building, but I do want to make a change unlike any change before, not just artistic updating like previous times, I want to make this a comic more than a quickly once a week knocked out web comic, I’d want plot, I’d want jokes written by people who can actually write jokes (unlike me). Now if you are one of the few people who followed my work before this blog you may know my writer is almost always my good friend Nathan “Man Whore” McMullen, but he’s bogged down with a million projects, because of this I may focus on the style, concept art, basic plot ideas for a while, get this thing really setup and looking professional in style and quality before I push on with it’s actual creation, who knows from there I may be able to make some pennies from Lulu.com, Etsy.com or my major dream, go into print with SLC/G (Slave Labour Comics/Graphics).

Now I’m not the ideal guy to run a solo project, I always need someone to play the motivator, and I kinda lack a motivator in this project because as far as I remember all my old Life of Timmy fans have gone their own way after the future of L.o.T looked like it was distain to go nowhere, so if you think you can motivate me, or you have some ideas for the comic, future plots, or possible characters/styles post them in the comments on this update! I genuinely want to know other peoples thoughts on this :-)

Right, I’m getting unhappy looks from the staff here for sitting here with no food or drink, I better shoot.

Ta Ta <3

An Update?! SHOCKING!

So, a quick update! I’ve hooked my iPhone up to my laptop to get this out :-D I’m now officially 22, fear my old man powers!

Anyway, less than 1 week till I get REAL internet back now I hope so as soon as I do I will update with something more substantial, until then if you have some money knocking about pick this up, it’s freaking amazing: LINK!

Day 4

So the handyman just stopped by to check my leak ad joy, he may have to rip up my floor...

So out of curiosity I stuck on ricki lake this morning...good lord it's more retarded than anyone warned me about!

Not a lot else has been going on.

Back to my internetless life...wehay!

Day 2...

So day two in my house with no Internet, found out I have a minimum of 14 more days to wait :-( ergh

I got a tv licence today, first time in 8 months so it's nice but due to a broken digibox I can only get weird channels...joy

I just saw a tv add for pocky (under a uk name) bring on the whiney japanophiles :-D

Anyway, update soon!

And So It Begins

Right, I’m moving flat today so taken 10 minutes out of my mad packing to update the blog.

I wont be online for a minimum of 10 days now (although due to unforeseen retardery I might be off longer…gonna be a fun birthday…) and although I can update from my iPhone those updates will be short due to the touch screen keyboard and lack any images or links (due to lack of 3.0 damn it) so things will be a bit wordy.

Now you know your good ol’ Uncle Timmy (yes I have a nephew so I can call myself that and not be a paedophile), he wont leave you with nothing but a good bye so I quickly whipped together a few things to keep you busy:

After I posted the video for the series of NewsWipe the other day I watched it all though and fell in love with it, so I found another creation of Brooker, ScreenWipe, the original show NewsWipe spun off from. It’s just as funny if not more so if your not a fan of the news, the only draw back this time is due to the rules of YouTube the saint who posted the series had to edit one episode due to nudity, I’m not complaining about the lack of nudity (although…) but instead of the rude bits we are greeted with black screens which happens a lot though the one episode which covers Dawn Gets Naked and Gock Wong or whatever that fannies name is show about women wearing almost nothing and sometimes nothing. Anyway, I really strongly recommend you check this out, if you’ve enjoyed the grumpy sometimes pissy for the sake of it persona I used durin some rants and game reviews you will enjoy this show:

[DUE TO YOUTUBE FIDDLING I CAN NOT EMBEDD THIS SHOW :-( CHECK IT OUT HERE THOUGH]

Admittedly that’s all I can give you right now I really need to get back to packing, if I can I’ll update later but don’t hold your breath (because it’s childish).

See You All In 10 Days!

Newswipe

It’s Brass Eye but in a real world….<3

Something Interesting…

I’d like to make clear I am NOT one of these Green people. I do nothing to keep my energy use down even though I should and before you condemn me…well…sod off? I know I should…or should I? I bumped into this on YouTube, quite interesting and pretty much highlights the fact lowering our energy usage is practically useless and the only real option is to invest in new energy sources like nuclear…anyway, enjoy:

I must say I like how they’ve simplified the situation to a system we can all grasp but without dumbing down the issue and or making it big and scary. Good on them.

500 Poly Gallery

I love 3D Models, I don’t know why, I can’t make them to save my life, but I love other peoples creations, but not those uber high quality Pixar style ones, I like the low poly stuff, the kind you’d see on a PS1, when the low polys pushed creators to be creative. Anyway, the guys at Polycount are running a thread on their forum dedicated to 500 Max Poly Models. It’s a looooong thread and it’s still running and some of the creations on there rage from shockingly bad, to surprisingly amazing :-D

Anyway, if your into this kinda stuff too check it out HERE

Crash : Mind over Mutant

So, yesterday I picked up Crash : Mind Over Mutant. Now you may wonder why I picked this up, in truth I’m not too sure, I mean we all know what happened to the series once they started doing games like Crash Bash, and I’ve been burnt before by horrid ‘Flogging A Dead Horse’ Crash Bandicoot games but still I picked it up and bought it…with a “your way too old for this kinda shit” look from the guy in Game.

So, what did I think of it? Let’s break it down into simple chunks…

1. Graphics
Crash Bandicoot hasn’t been doing too good in looks since he left the PSone which was a shame as he truly pushed the little gray console by the time Warped came out. His last few outings have been at best visually dull and at worst very ugly, but all of that has changed in Mind Over Mutant. The whole Crash Universe has been given a new lick of paint and a visual make-over. It’s hard to explain but remember when Crash looked like this?

Well, now he looks like this:

Jesus Christ on a stick! Not only has the graphics been boosted but as you’ve no doubt noticed the world now looks more cartoony and Crash himself is almost a totally new character, it works amazingly to give the whole thing a fresh feel it desperately needed!

2. Game Play:
Graphics are not the only things to get a make-over, the game plays totally different from previous games. No longer is it all about collecting gems, using warp rooms, and smashing all the boxes, now it’s more mission based and in simple much more about getting from A to B which sounds dull but is done really well. The controls have been given a touch-up or two as well with Crash using swipes more than his spin attack which now lasts longer than previous games but will result in a dizzy Crash. The other major new mechanic (I say new but before people complain, I know it was in Crash of the Titans, but I feel Crash was still finding himself in that title, in this one the games finally started totally afresh and done it well) is Crash’s ability to control huge mutants with different powers to solve puzzles and get though the game a little easier. A level up system has been implemented into the game too with each mutant having 5 upgrades and Crash having 35. All these new little bits and bobs work together well to give Crash what he needed to move onto a new generation.

3. Audio
I struggle to comment on audio because as long as it dosen’t piss me off (which it didn’t) I never have any issues with it, so I’ll just say it did it’s job :-D

4. Story
The story, well I wont tell you what it is, but what I will say is it’s told in a weird way. Each cut-scene is a cartoon but each one done in a different style including 1960s horror, 1980s kung-foo, and even one where all the characters were played by sock puppets. It’s very weird but dose a good job of motivating you to push on to see the next one just to see what they do next.

5. All In All
This game has put a smile on my face, it has Crash in it, but in no way is it the old Crash Bandicoot we all remember, but that’s not a bad thing, the old Crash was…well…old! The gameplay was dull, where as this one is fun, the visuals were out dated where as this one is beautiful, even the plot actually has some plot to it unlike most Crash games. It’s humour is aimed at all ages and kids who’ve never played a Crash game before will love this as much as adults who still remember Crash Bandicoot on their PSone.

Sadly this may be the last good game from Crash as it was published by now long gone Sierra and I’m not sure who has their grubby little mits on the series now. But I’d recommend giving this game a go, it’s restored my faith in Platformer games as much as Mario 64 and Jak and Daxter did before it.

TRAILER:

Zelda Goodness <3

So, yesterday I FINALLY picked up an old NES to play my Gold Cart Legend of Zelda on it, ooooo it was retro sexiness and I loved it. Now I just need to fork out £20 to get Zelda II (and then debate weather or not to frame the carts and just use emulators to play the games because it’s always been my dream to own Golden Cart versions of the old Zeldas, just need LttP, OOT and MM now!

Good Luck

So, The Pirate Bay’s creators have been fined about £3,000,000 and face a year in jail for their running of a 100% legal website… kinda fucked if you ask me. This dose seem quite political and very messed up but TPB have said they will appeal against this judgment and even if they lose that will never pay the companies the money and I say good on them. Although this is a bit of a blow for the internet piracy world it’s nothing crippling, it’s no more than Napster or Kazaa’s past and if anything events like this have proven to only make the piracy world stronger as more and more people grow to dislike the faceless corporations playing the bad guy in this show of life. If they were smart they’d work with the pirates, find a way to co-exist, seem like the good guys, gain the respect of web dwellers and who knows maybe we’d actually buy their stuff without cursing the fact we get fucked over in the wallet for all their greed.

But anyway, I’m not gonna use this as a soap box to stand on and shout, best of luck to the guys from TPB in their appeal, I hope it works in their favour, the judgment was outstandingly harsh and unfair.

StarCraft II Battle Report

I mentioned before I’m trying to get back into my RTS, there’s a reason for this, StarCraft II. The first StarCraft was love at first sight for me and I loved the game so much I played it from start to finish on a make-shift PC with no sound card and a flickering screen just cause I wanted to finish it so bad. The game hasn’t survived the tests of time though with a set screen resolution which could run on a GBA and music which most people would hate today, but the story is still good and still open for the second game which I’m dying to play, but I don’t wanna be shit at. Because of this I’m back into my RTS but also I’ve begun to watch the Battle Reports. It’s quite interesting picking up tips from good gamers by watching them, the commentators do a good job of sticking to facts, information about the game, and general compliments on the players tactics instead of resorting to WWE style macho bullshit, so if your interested in the new StarCraft why not sit back and enjoy 20 minutes of in game footage (still no Protos though sadly)

FULL SCREEN IS A MUST!

Timbo_Stock
Check out my new Twitter just for my doodles.

The Good, The Bad, and the Fugly

So, today's been pretty uneventful so I thought I’d do a little G.B.F to keep this place flowing and keep me busy while my food cooks…need…food :-(

The Good : I’ve discovered the wonders of photographing my doodles with my iPhone, uploading them to twitter (weirdly it’s quicker to photo upload from my phone than from my laptop) then I can pull them from the net, run them though flash and wehay, my updates should more often have Timbo original artwork from now on :-D I’m working on setting up a Stock Twitter account, you guys will be more than welcome to subscribe to it if you wanna see my doodles but it’s more for me than anything.

The Bad : Clement Freud, an amazing and funny man who I know mostly for his work on Just a Minute but is famous for so much more passed away today. He lived a long life and a full one so good on him, but it’s a shame to see him go. R.I.P

The Fugly : Ninja Blade.
I tried this games demo out on the 360 the other day and couldn’t even make it to the end. Yes it was pretty. Sure it had big weapons and even bigger monsters. And awesome it has quick time events…wait…what? Yup another game that uses quick time events, but I’m not talking bits and bobs to allow you to pull of wicked awesome moves or something, this game uses them as a key gameplay feature, it was even on the back of the chuffing box! The gameplay in-between the horrid quick time badness is boring and dull and ergh…I hate this game with such a passion I couldn’t even dedicate an article to it…Don’t Buy It!

Some Rambles Of A Timbo

No the picture has nothing to do with the post it’s self, I just bumped into this (sadly can’t remember where now, if you know, link me so I can credit) on the net and fell in love with it after getting sick of seeing those stupid posters everywhere.

Anyway, didn’t really have an update for today but I thought after a bit of a style update it seemed wrong to say nothing beyond a few lines of text so instead I thought I’d update with some news on my everyday life. I know most of you don’t care but it saves me telling multiple friends and family the same thing…yes I’m lazy and anti-social.

So, what’s been up?

Well I’ve found a beautiful flat down the road from my current house I’m gonna be (with luck) moving into for the end of the month (can’t wait), it dose mean 10 days without internet so if anyone wants to do anything I’ll probably be up for anything for 10 long boring days (even if you wanna just hang out at my shiny new place and play Hero Quest!…someone play Hero Quest with me? Please?). It all sounds good and happy but this move is gonna financially cripple me for potentially months so I’m part hyped up, part dreading it.

In other news I’ve now been in my job for over 3 months making this the longest period of time I’ve spent in one job if you don’t include relationships…but those are more chores than jobs (I’m NOT bitter…<_< *ahem*). I’m hoping for a permanent contract before the years up (cause if I don’t get one I’m screwed) and then I can sink into 40 years of DWP work before I can retire…when put like that it’s kinda depressing…but it pays for the new flat! :-D

I’ve been making more effort to get back into my old RTS games recently starting with Age of Mythology but with intentions to work my way though all the C&C as well as the Warcraft III games. If anyone also owns a copy of one of these games why not bug me for some online play? I like to be social, I’m just not good at it (and worse at the games so it’s an easy win for you)

With my new flat, and my job, it feels like life is kinda…I dunno, coming together? I’ve spent a long time drifting between jobs and unemployment with nothing to give structure to my life so it’s kinda nice, it, and my diminishing health have made me realise I need to sort myself out, eat better, exercise more, and more importantly, say yes more. I know that sounds like I’m just listening to the Yes Man Audiobook again (seriously, best way to experience an amazing story) but I’m sick of spending my evenings indoors doing the same thing, sick of my social circle spanning about 5 people of which 2 I live with, and kinda realise I’m only young once, don’t waste it on nothing (at the same time I’m of the view you shouldn’t waste it getting so drunk you forget everything, that’s just retarded, so saying yes more is gonna have a limit for me :-P). So, why not try dragging me out sometime, I might be up for it where I wasn’t before :-D

What else is new…hmmmm…I may be using this 10 days with no internet to focus on some concepts and doodles for my next comic, but don’t get your hopes up, that’s if my time isn’t taken up between work and moving into my new place.

I guess that’s it really. Bit of a dull update I know sorry, but could be worse, I could have gone silent for weeks like last time!

I’ll try to update a few times with more meaty stuff before I move to keep you going while my nets down. Update Soon <3

So a quick update just to say; Wehay, like the new look at the top of the blog? Smexy huh?

Anyway, on with your lives…

Interweb TV

So, if your keeping up to date with my blog you probably saw my little rant last night about the ITV Player, I said in the blog that I was yet to try the 4oD streaming TV from Channel 4. So after I’d posted that blog I thought I’d give it a go, in truth I was kinda suppressed. I mean Channel 4 are known for their tackiness, it’s what they do but this site was well designed, easy to get around, loaded pretty quick, and wasn’t so full of adverts you wanted to kill a cute puppy. I wont lie there were some issues, I had problems with the buffering on some videos being a bit buggered but pausing the video for a few minutes at the start fixed that, also the image quality wasn’t perfect on some of the videos, but Channel 4 hasn’t long been running the Web version of their 4oD service, before it was a download system, so their kinda new to this so I can forgive them (this shows most in full screen graphical issues with videos). So, so far my online TV Line Up looks like this:

(keep in mind I am UK based so we don’t get awesome places like the South Park Studio yet)

1. iPlayer (BBC)
2. 4oD (Channel 4)
3. Family Guy Online (Family Guy)
4. American Dad HQ (American Dad)
5. All SP (South Park)

I’d like to say sites like Hulu but alas I’m still waiting for the British government to stop being pricks and get it sorted so we can watch these sites!

Super Size Me

Just found this hosted (as far as I can see, legally) on YouTube, it’s a little old now but if your like me, you never got around to watching it…enjoy:

ill TV

As anyone knows, the first thing to do when ill is break out the TV and watch mindless crap, it keeps us all going though the bleh times.

Alas I lack a TV Licence so I thought ‘fuck it, time for a bit of internet TV!’ (I’ve checked the laws on this, I’m allowed to watch things like the iPlayer without a licence as long as I don’t watch live stuff…I don’t get it…but yeah). So, after watching some BBC for a while I thought it was time for a new site, now I haven’t really tried 4oD yet and everything on Sky’s streaming site seems to be pay to view (no shock from the bastard that is Murdock) so seeing as no downloads or money was needed I gave ITV’s “ITV Player” a try. My opinion? Well…

The website is horridly designed with almost no kind of timeline system running to show what shows are coming soon or what shows have just played. The top promoted shows on the site seem to span their soaps and a few less than high quality programs. And in general their ‘white with black bits’ theme hit back at BBC iPlayer’s ‘black with white bits’ theme is ugly and feels badly designed (apparently no one told their designers about negative space in art class).

Now onto the shows. Now ITV has never been known for the best show reel, I mean they have been humping the corps of I’m A Celeb for years now but until you see them listed like they are on the site you don’t realise just how bad their selection is. I mean considering these guys run 5 channels (ITV 1 to 4 and the CITV Channel) there isn’t enough content I could find to fill one channel with a weeks worth of programs. There is also a total lack of a news show which annoys me as I quite like the ITV News (and have had to resort to watching it on my iPhone instead). The quality of the shows is also horrid with one show I just watched, Celebrity Juice, feeling like it was from a late night Channel 4 production ment to just fill time between the late night porno and the early morning kids shows, I’d have more fun looking at telly text screens.

Finally there is the issue of advertising. Now I know ITV makes its money from this, I know on TV you’d get TV adverts, and I can accept them being in the web versions too, but they can’t seem to find the buyers for the view time meaning I was shown the same Orange advert every break and a few times 2 times a break (and when your watching something that’s 2 hours long that’s 8 times you see the Advert with no means of skipping it). Also unlike the TV counterparts these adverts are badly chopped into the shows causing really inappropriate stopping points in plots or action. I know people may say ‘ah but that’s the price of viewing without a licence’ but as much as I could accept that for the BBC who make almost all their funding off the licence payer (and the rest off phone scams) ITV make their cash from their adverts not seeing a penny of the licence money. Also I wouldn’t complain about these adverts, or their badly cut in positions, or the repetition of them, if it wasn’t for the fact the video quality is vastly below a YouTube HQ standard (where I’m not bombarded with unskippable adverts), the web design is horrid and bad to navigate for me, let alone someone who’s not computer literate, and the production quality of the shows seems to have slipped since way back when.

I guess it should have been expected from a company who think the best way to entertain people on the weekend is to OD them on Ant and Dec, all I can say is unless they have a show you REALLY wanna watch on there, stick with the iPlayer, or give 4oD a try, but ITV Player really isn’t worth the hassle.

To Catch A Predator

I think almost everyone knows about the show To Catch A Predator by now, it’s never made it across the seas to the UK but between YouTube and shows like South Park spoofing it, it’s a well known show. Admittedly it' has an element of scare spin to it making it feel like the whole internet is made up of paedophiles or something, but if you can over look the media spin there is nothing quite as beautiful as watching a Pedo get owned, and by Chris Hansen of all people.

There are a LOT of videos on the net so picking one to put on here to show off the program wasn’t easy but in the end I settled for this one for two reasons. 1. It is beyond me that someone could be this stupid and 2. This is the first time in one of these videos I’ve seen Chris seem actually quite pissed off…which is kinda awesome.

Anyway, enjoy:

Part 1

Part 2

Oh My God, I’m Not Dead!

Hello! So yes, I’m not actually dead, I feel pretty damn close to it but that’s just cause I’m ill *aaaaw*

Where have I been? Well I’ve been here all along but I’ve been house hunting, still trying to get used to my job, had a lot of lazing about to do, and I hit one of those points where every time I loaded up Live Writer to update this place I’d find something more important to do, even if that thing was watching reruns of Lost or getting told off by Virgin for being a little pirate…that sucked…

So, I wont lie, this probably isn’t a sign of good things to come, within the month I’m meant to be moving out which means a minimum of 10 days without internet…scary. Also my motivation still isn’t there, I’m just so horridly bored tonight with no one online and no motivation to game I thought I’d show my face on here.

Just to explain the post below this one, I originally thought that was the video for the Microsoft GDC 2009 Keynotes but apparently Gamespot thought it would be handy to put up keynotes that are a year sodding old. That’s like putting up year old news reports, everything mentioned in it has already happened! I continued to dig and found out no one seems to have the streams for the GDC Keynotes this year. Why? I don’t know, but I’m pissed off about it, that’s over 3 hours of neediness I don’t get this year!

So, what else can I rant about? I dunno, not really got much to talk about, with my new house costing so much I haven’t had the cash to get new games to moan about, I also seem to be lacking anything interesting to bitch about or sing the praises of. I guess I can knock together one or two things to keep you busy thought…

1. Dungeon Party
I’ve taken a step back from MMORPGs recently due to the fact they tend to suck ass and for some reason I can never accept they’ll stop sucking ass, but I did just stumble upon this little potential gem. Dungeon Party feels like if they took Dungeon Runners (the one MMORPG I haven’t grown to hate) and dipped it in Team Fortress 2. They don’t take themselves seriously, the game isn’t all about grinding or quests. This is all about raiding dungeons for treasure, but at the same time stopping another team doing the same. It seems like an interesting game but alas right now it’s in what seems to be a closed beta so I can’t give it the poke I wanna. But check out it’s site (if only for the humorous trailers) and bookmark it for the future!

2. FUCK YOU PeTA!

3. Unskippable
It’s been a while since I found a web show to obsess over but just like the last two (Zero Punctuation and Unforgotten Realms) Unskippable is one of the diamonds in the rough on the site The Escapist. Good show but it doesn't make up for the shit that is de-rez. Still, watch it though! It’s bloody hilarious (but if you wanna get one or two of the in-jokes, watch from the first episode to the newest one).

4. IEEEEEE! IT LOOKS SO FREAKING SMEXY!
*ahem* Gameplay footage from Bioshock 2 <3

5. Charlie The Unicorn 3
STARFISH REALLY LOVES YOU!!!…*ahem*

So yeah, some stuff to keep you going till I can pull my head of out my ass and get back to updating this place a bit more often :-)

Till then, Ta Ta! <3

ZOMG THE KEYNOTES BEGIN!

I'm an avid fan of the GDC Keynotes so expect any put online to be embedded here :-D

Oh and yes I'm not dead...

Sat in bettys

So I'm sat in bettys cafe in town drinking a cold fanta and watching the world go by. The sun is shining and the spell checker on my phone as you can no doubt tell isn't working very well today. So sat here in total relaxation getting odd looks from an old couple I thought "hey, why don't I update my blog" Which in theory is an awesome idea over looking one floor...I have nothing to talk about.

My money isn't looking too pretty right now with pay day a week away so can't go buying extravigant stuff to write about and how I had sushi for the first time in years yesterday (and hated it) didn't seem like enough to keep a topic going. So instead I've decided to just ramble on like this and make you read in hope of some form of content which'll never come :-D I'm a bad man. ☺

Right, time to finish my can and go for a stroll in the sun. May update soon...but probubly won't till I'm settled into my imaginary new house.

♥

Living Up To The Name…

As the blog name says, my head is broken. No this isn’t some moany little thing about how I have issues no one could understand, this isn’t Live Journal.

Nah, my heads just kinda foggy this weekend. The worry about finding a house as well as bits, bobs, and thingy-ma-jigs in my life are kinda bouncing around in that wide open space I call a brain and making it hard to focus even with a bit of Sigur Ros in the background. Because of this I will not promise an update this weekend because I’m sure you’ll only be let down. What I will do though is keep an eye out for a few images, videos, and other bits I can quickly stick on here to keep the place from gathering too much dust :-)

Hope this holds you guys over till my life’s settled back into place and I’m more focused (right now I can’t even game my heads so foggy making it hard to even write about games)

If you want to follow me like a stalker though subscribe to my twitter feed :-) the more the better!

About Chuffing Time!

Wehay an update from me! One that’s not from a phone or done over twitter!

So, where have I been? I’d like to say all over the place busy busy busy and truly doing something, I could actually say that but you know…I’d be lying.

So, what’s been going on? Well recently I discovered a few things, for starters an iPhone can be very VERY distracting (seriously, I’ve wasted god knows how much money on new apps for the sexy little devil. Bored? why not drop me an e-mail on my phone? Things like that keep me going in work). Secondly I’ve been kinda…I’m not sure, zapped of motivation? In truth I fear Newport and city life is effecting me, but I’ll talk about that more in a bit. Thirdly I recently found out in about 20 days I could be homeless, this has sparked a house hunt, but I wont lie and say that’s taken up all my time, it clearly couldn’t…I’d have a new place by now if the search was every waking moment between work. No, but in truth the whole things kinda knocked my mind out of line, I’m thinking more about how I’ll move my stuff, or what colour curtains I want in my new place, or who I’ll call if I find a spider now I’ll have no house mates, so in basic I’ve become homosexual. No Mam, not really.

Anyway, I genuinely hope this will change soon, I’ve got high hopes the next place I view will be good cause it can’t be any worse than the shit hole I viewed last. I’m trying to perk myself up some more too, talking to my (soon to be ex) house mate earlier about the youth of today I realised that at only 21 I’ve lost all my childish innocents, my immaturity, and almost my entire ability to have mindless silly fun without fear of how it will effect me down the line. For most people this would be a good thing, but fuck, I’m 21! Those things are for people in their late twenties at least. I can still get ID’d for a scratch card, I’m too young to be like this. So I’m trying to come up with ways to force myself to change a bit. Fingers crossed this’ll help my motivation and way of thought and I’ll be blogging a lot again soon :-)

Oh soon I will drop off the face of the earth beyond my Twitter and Facebook. Why? Internet here takes 10 days to be connected to a house, so when I move I have 10 days no internet…it…will..kill…me.

Anyway, I know this was a shoddy update with nothing interesting and more me going on about my life which I hardly care about so fuck knows why you ever would…I mean I probably wouldn’t care much for your life ether, no offence, but it’s probably boring like mine…we need to have more fun.

Coming soon...

Gonna try updating tonight from my laptop, wish me luck but don't hold your breath :-P

Update

Right so my brother gave me gip cause of the lack of updates so I thought I'd get an iPhone app so I can update anywhere :-D

The app uses a small keyboard though making this a total potch to write so don't expect indepth iPhone updates (but they'll be longer then their twitter counterparts).

So, what's been going on in my world? Let's see...

1. I have 22 days to move out before rent becomes too expencive to cover plus I'm sick of living in a shit hole when my job dosent pay bad. Fingers crossed I'll have a new place lines up by next week :-D

2. I now have a sexy iPhone meaning my twitter isn't dead and no longer will the blog be!

3. My days as a pirate are over as virgin sent me a scary "stop being naughty!" letter (although re accounts in my house mates name). In fairness I'm not sure what I did wrong but I'll prosume the music companies are trigger happy due to the pirate bay court case.

4. I'm currently doodling ideas for a new comic but that's all I'm saying :-P

That's it really. Oh if you was confused by the previous post, it's a qr code...google it :-P

Tata <3

Mirrors Edge – Time Trial Map Pack

 

So, last night I forked out 800 Microsoft Points on the new Time Trial Map Pack for Mirrors Edge. I’m not all for paying money for new maps for games, that always feels a bit cheap and unfair on the poor gamers out there so I tend to stick to basic maps unless their free but I must admit I loved Mirrors Edge but felt the game was too short and not very free runny (sounds unhealthy) so when I heard there would be a map pack which would take you outside the city I thought this was awesome. So yeah, I downloaded it and booted it up…my opinion?

Ehm…I’m quite let down. For a collection of maps that take you outside the ridged city and place you into a free running playground the routs though the maps are horridly linier. The challenge isn’t so much in finding new quicker ways from A to B but instead more about for starters working out the ONLY way from A to B then trying to time your jumps and turns perfect. It felt more like a race track with dust on the while lines that show where to go than a collection of expansive free running maps. It would have been nice if they gave us a little more for our money too. I mean the maps are pretty, but considering their just a collection of geometric shapes over an ocean they couldn’t have taken a whole lotta work (a statement I would not have made if there was more than 1 way though each map). Maybe if they had thrown in a 1 on 1 race game I wouldn’t have felt quite so cheated, I mean running against ghosts isn’t bad, teaches you the speedy way to follow the rout and some times they are almost vital to find out how you complete a track without dying, but I’d love to take the game online against a friend and race though a track, hitting each other off the sides as we race and so on, that would make it so fun I could forgive the bad free running aspect.

Hell if they’d thrown in a replay option where you could watch in a third person as Faith runs the map so you can see where you went wrong I’d feel a little less cheated. There is a LOT of stuff they could have done, not ground breaking stuff, not high effort stuff, hell stuff we hardly missed in the game, but there's a lot of it they could have stuck in this expansion to lessen the bitter taste it leaves in your mouth.

You may say ‘but Tim, it’s only 800 points!’ but when you consider the cost of the whole Portal game on the Arcade, that seems a lot for very little.

But remember, don’t take my word for it, try it out yourself if you have the money and let me know if you agree or not. I do like to hear other peoples opinions, it might help me see something in this expansion that justifies me spending the money I did to get it :-)

Fiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzizizizizzzz

So, I kinda said in my Twitter I’d update the site tonight and kicking myself kinda cause as I hit enter I remembered I have very little to update with, I mean my brains kinda like this picture…doesn't matter how much you look at it, you wont see boobies…although my mind is kinda the other way around after a week of work, look at it all you like you’ll only see boobies. Anywho, stuff to talk about…

Oooh, I’ve begun doodles and ideas for a new chapter of Life Of TimmY, new cast, new setup, old Zombies, and even a little plot possibly. I don’t wanna talk about it too much though cause right now it’s still only ideas and it’ll be a while before you get to see it cause I’m looking for a life event to start me off, kinda missed all the big ones recently so need a new one, someone wanna give me a million pounds or challenge me to a race around the world? Sounds like a good motivator!

So, what else has been on the go? I’m still set on making everyone join Twitter so go ahead and join bitches!

I’ve finally picked up a copy of Skype again! If you fancy chatting to me on there my names tim.nice.but.dim (no joke)

Tonight I may have a FEAR2 night, if so expect lots of updates every time I pause cause I’m too scared to go on…I’m a wimp I know…but damn that games evil!

Ooo I might finally get my camera out soon and do a photo shoot! It’s been a looooong time but thanks to my friend (who till I’ve got the thumbs up that she wants to be named in her photos, will remain nameless) I should be doing more shoots soon so mybrokenhead will be getting more arty! So break out your pocky, stuffed anime toys, and put on 50 pounds and join the world in becoming art critics!

I really have little else to update with right now but I may update later with something a little different from the norm :-) don’t worry, no Timmy porn…well…not much anyway.

Tata M’Dears!

F.E.A.R 2

If you’ve seen my recent tweet you know I got a copy of F.E.A.R 2, you’ll no doubt have also guessed I’M SHITTING MYSELF! O_O

The game takes fear one and times it by at least 10! In the first game you heard a sound and you knew something was gonna jump out or be though the next door…this ones less obvious. I’m currently on level one, alone, in a swimming pool area, all dark, my torch is fucking up and I turn around without any scary sounds or anything and Alma is stood there smiling evilly. I’m genuinely too scared to turn around in this game!

Fucking freaky game!

I’ll write a full review once I’ve completed it and washed out my undies.

Work + Lack of Sleep = No Updates

I haven't updated in a few days now, and you may be wondering why (or more logically just not giving a crap). It’s not entirely due to a lack of content (although most of it is video game based so I’m looking for stuff to break that up a bit for the lesser nerds reading this), it’s more I just can’t be arsed or I’m too tiered to go searching for stuff to update with. Hell even finding the picture for this post involved trolling though quite a lot of she-male Wang in Google with the search term ‘office prank’…fuck knows why.

So yeah, I’m tiered, not tiered of the blog, just work is nackering me out right now and I’m not even pulling full shifts (which is gonna bite me in the ass in a weeks time). I don’t wanna write an entire post about how shit work is or something, it just doesn't seem interesting and I moan to friends enough without making the internet suffer too, so instead, I give you:

AAAAW! HOW CWOOOOT!

Detective Mittens: The Crime Solving Cat

Halo Wars - Demo

I must admit my days of RTS kinda died when my Windows Systems started to suck too much to run new games, I’ve played games like Warcraft, Starcraft and the early C&C games to death and thus lost interest. When EA released C&C3 on Xbox 360 I’ll admit my interest was peeked due to the fact it would run as I own a 360 (although with the CD sounds recently I’m not sure how long I’ll own one before it melts). I borrowed the game off someone and sat down with the tutorial only to find the progress slow, the controls unappealing, and the game just a total turn off, in truth it kinda marked console RTS for me, which is a shame because the early C&C’s on PS1 were amazing. Anyway, when I heard about Halo Wars being a 360 exclusive I wasn’t to fussed, didn’t appeal to me based on my experience with RTS so I looked past it and focused on other games, that was till today when I downloaded the demo.

The demo is 1.4 gigs so if your on a bad connection give up now, but for anyone else I’d recommend it! The game is visually and technically beautiful. The controls are smooth and easy, the GUI is basic, the base building, although key, isn’t a chore. The wars even with the 30 unit limit I was given still felt large and chaotic. The graphics felt like I was genuinely playing a Halo game from an RTS view too (which is something the promotions bragged about but I didn’t be leave). I tried this demo thinking I’d finally have something bad to say about Halo because you know, it’s cool to dislike popular stuff, but I fell in love with the game to the point where I’m toying with buying it when it comes out (buying new titles is a rare thing for me because of my tight fistedness when it comes to games).

The game isn’t without it’s problems though. A few things make no sense in the time line considering the game is set 20 years before Halo 1, the technology of the Humans is far better than in the games. Also Halo War’s AI is clothed, where as Cortana didn’t need clothes (I know it’s nit picking but why dose an AI computer need to dress up? It bugs me). I’m also unsure about some of the characters (a.k.a the dude you take control of in the demo felt like a bit of a dick…kinda like a dick version of what’s his face who you take control of at the start of Starcraft). All of this is forgiven though with some damn beautiful cut-scenes and of course Halo’s trade mark music.

With the last set-in-stone Halo release (with Bungie jumping ship) being an expansion pack for Halo 3, Halo Wars to me is the final chapter in the series unless something happens. If it is, I think it’s set to be a good one, and also a game Ensemble Studios can be proud of as their final title before being shut down.

If you have a 360 check it out.